Eight years ago I chose not to protect myself and contracted HIV from someone who knew they had it but didn't want to tell me.  While I was young (20),  HIV didn't care nor did the other person.  I got it and today I live with the consequences of not taking responsibility for my own body daily.  I thought like many that HIV infected "other" people, older people, gay people, black people, or was far away like in India or Africa. Some believe (I did myself),  that if you do get it you can just take a pill and everything will be peachy...

Well I can tell you that living with HIV and taking the pills, the trips to the hospital, rejection, nausea, exhaustion, depression, deep feeling of isolation, health care debt, weightloss, dizzyness,  ain't peachy.

HIV is not just something you take a pill for.... it is a HUGE life altering event that forever deeply shifts your own sense of self and your perception of everything.  It is a roller coaster of emotions and not just for you.  It effects family, friends, getting jobs, finances (HIV isn't cheap).  In the end the REALITY of HIV is very powerful and painful and HIV  is something you live with for the rest of your life weather there is a pill or not.

I can't tell you how upset I get at the most current hype concerning the prevalence of HIV in the black community as it does nothing more than to spurn fear and ongoing misunderstanding of the complex  and deeply misunderstood disease of HIV.   The truth about HIV is that it is a disease that effects and infects all of us, not just gays or blacks and  in the end every last one of us is suffering from its consequences. 

What is ironic is that stories like this are irresponsible because they give people a false hope that it doesn't have to do with them.  People think they are immune because they are not gay or black or what ever "other" class of segregation our myopic culture makes for us to feel fearful and separate from one another.

The truth is we are all citizens of a global community and while we choose to categorize what race may have it the most, what sexuality may have the most, or continent... HIV goes on not discriminating. 

The truth is it HIV does not  care what color you are, what sexuality you are, what continent your on, how old or young you are.  HIV can infect anyone.  It is a HUMAN disease.     The more we attempt to segregate HIV into GIV and BIV (gay or black or whatever) the more people are going to get a false sense of safety and the more people are going to get infected.

HIV has infected me, it is a daily struggle and while I may not look sick on the outside my heart is heavy from its true nature.  All I can say is that knowledge is the one thing that can save us from HIV.  Fear of HIV perpetuates it.   The best thing is to KNOW how you can get it so you can  prevent it, BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN BODY, and go on knowing you are living your life free of an incredible burden. 

Each of us is the most responsible for our own bodies and therefore responsible for what happens to it.   You may think someone else has enough care to let you know they have HIV but from my own experience protecting yourself, your body, and your life is in YOUR hands. Trust yourself and take responsibility for your own life above all else and all others.

Trust me HIV cares far much less than you do....