- Posted March 27, 2008 by
This iReport is part of an assignment:
Living with autism
Assisted Living for Autistic Adults
MACON, GA -- I have actually considered assisted living. Why, you ask? Well, I was tired of failing. My life was an endless loop of decisions that left me wondering what I'd done wrong and I was physically and mentally growing tired of it.
It wouldn't be a bad idea to have someone that objectively assists me to learn the nuances of social behavior. I am always discovering that I still don't quite get when I'm talking too much or going on about a topic that is of no interest to others. I'm simply making the information right in my head. I don't mean to be a pain. It's frustrating because I wanna just fit in.
Now, I don't need assistance, like, somebody to do stuff for me all the time. Nah, nothin' like that. It would just be nice to have an objective person around to bounce things off of. Enough so that I'm not always self-concious about the way sentences and phrases come out of my mouth. This self-conciousness keeps me from being as vocal as I'd like. That's why I write. It's much easier to say what I feel because I have time to think about it, rehearse it and then say (write) it.
I would hope to learn better how to deal with my financial world, too. I have had many monetary implosions in my life that have not allowed me to maintain any amount of savings. I've always had emergencies of some sort or I simply allowed an ex-spouse to empty the accounts. All in the name of non-confrontation. I know it wasn't smart but, during those intense moments in my life, I was processing way too much information and always in constant sensory overload. In assisted living, I would suspect that those folks would understand this phenomenon and share some skills that would help me to better adjust to relationship stress or financial emergencies. Wish I'd known about this kinda thing a long time ago.
I must admit, I'm a pretty independent guy. I don't really like having anyone around all the time but, it's nice to have an understanding, even skilled, ear to hear what I am really trying to say. Would I consider assisted living now? Yeah, I probably would. I know that I've conquered some huge hurdles just to do what I'm doing today, but, I still can't get a job that pays more than $8 bucks an hour. I was even told by my Labor Department Vet. Rep. that I have a resume full of executive experience from the corporate sector. I know this already. Making it work for me so that I can buy food, pay rent and all the other regular bills people get is something of a mystery to me. I would like to know who's holdn' that key.
Written by Michael Buckholtz *Find out more at MySpace.com/aacfdonation*