About this iReport
  • Approved for CNN

  • Click to view sbeasla's profile
    Posted September 20, 2011 by
    Lake Forest, California
    This iReport is part of an assignment:
    The new faces of poverty: How are you getting by?

    More from sbeasla

    Two Years Later


    CNN PRODUCER NOTE     sbeasla lost her job in February 2009 and she hasn't been able to find more than part-time work ever since. Last summer, her unemployment benefits ran out, but she said she was still smiling. This morning she updated, saying she feels sad and frustrated. She doesn’t drive anymore unless she has to and she's cut back on cable and internet. She sends out 30 to 50 resumes a day, but she says, 'I feel as though they fall into a black hole.'
    - zdan, CNN iReport producer

    I lost my job in February 2009 and since then I've exhausted my savings and used up my unemployment. I tried to start a business but that failed and currently I have a few part time jobs to help pay rent and bills but I'm still falling behind and avoid debt collection calls and the bills/notices that come in the mail because they depress me and I don't have any money to pay them. I probably should just answer them but most of time, they're just rude and hard to work with.


    I don't drive anymore unless I have to. Luckily I live close enough to grocery stores and convenience stores so I walk and carpool when I can. This saves me gas money and other car maintenance issues I might have. I also collect coupons, look for ads in papers, and only splurge once in a while if I can afford to but most times I really can't.


    I've cut back on cable and Internet and only pay for what I need to get by. I frantically send out about 30-50 resumes a day and most times I feel as though they fall into a black hole. I'm still fortunate to have a roof over my head and make do with what I can but I miss having a decent job and being on track with my life. No one really understands you when you're poor and can't get by. Most of my friends say "I don't know what I would do if I was you." This isn't very comforting.


    Right now I'm considering going back to school. However that process is also very expensive and I already owe loans from my undergrad.


    I'm hanging in there. I'm waiting for the storm to clear. I'm trying to be as optimistic as I can without becoming depressed. And every day I pray that someone will hire me.

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