the courts wont help, the hole I dug myself into is consuming me. the more I wanted to be heard the more the system tried to shut me up. if I didn't understand their rule and ask for the order of law to abide by their ides of responsibility to their rule, I was on my own, on my own to figure out what to do without knowledge of the law. what they expected me to do is need to know. to not abide by their conduct of rule and demonstrations of desperation on protection from abuse from my babies daddy I was deemed a trouble maker.  their is no real solution to the plague of abuse, no help for victims if you are below poverty level. you become A burden to all classes above you. if you are a strong independent women with a strong conviction against abuse ( with a disability) " mental illness" and your partner is abusive, controlling and funded, beware. the tables are turning on the women who feel in their heart and soul that their fight against abuse will win in the eyes of the court the abusers are winning. if you show to little emotion they may think your fabricating your story, show to much and they will almost dub you psycho. so where shall one begin to fight to regain the dignity, the respect, the right of the responsibility of keeping your child safe from harm, I reached out to many people. I asked for help from many, I received unanswered silences, altered court documents, false allegations from agencies to cover up for a controlling abusive man by verbal, mental, and coercive control and threats from his mother to make sure I never see my child again. the fact that they have ties in the community with government agencies with almost impossible proof to the corruption it makes my case more expensive and impossible to be reunited with my daughter. I have been turned down from help because of the nature of my  case. the nature of my case is mental disability vs, abuse. they forgot my child.... where are the whistle blowers that investigate such tragedies? I know the risks of communicating my story to you. media can tear your character apart, I'm no saint but the only thing I know is that my purpose her is to help children with abuse that have no outlet, and not to have an outlet creates damaged minds. to have no outlet to escape from control of parental abuse causes hate and more abuse to others and to self. there is no need in this nation to allow our children to be forced into learning destructive habits to protect themselves from parental control of abuse.