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    Posted May 10, 2012 by
    Jersey City, New Jersey
    This iReport is part of an assignment:
    Same-sex marriage: Civil right vs. states' rights

    Are there any good arguments against gay marriage?

    Same-sex marriage is not about religion. If it was, there wouldn't even be a legal component to marriage in our secular government. For every Bible verse someone gives to "prove" being gay is wrong, I can give one that refutes it. So let's put the religious fervor aside please. We can have that discussion at another time.

    That being said, I have not heard a single good argument for denying someone equal rights that did not invoke religion or wasn't along the lines of "I don't like gays therefore it's bad."

    If you don't like it, fine. If your religion doesn't support it, fine. But for a state to go out of its way to prohibit a group of people from having equal rights is just beyond me, especially in 2012. Here's the best of what I've heard:

    1. "It destroys traditional marriage." 50% divorce rate. Couples who stay together but hate each other, constantly fighting in front of their children. Abusive parents. Parents who are only parents because they didn't use birth control and are in no way fit to raise children. Celebrity sham marriages. If that isn't destroying traditional marriage, I don't know how same-sex marriages can do any worse.

    Gay couples getting married doesn't prohibit straight couples from marrying (it's not like there's some sort of marriage quota, or a marriage waiting list). It doesn't undermine heterosexual marriages. It's not as if a gay person would have a heterosexual marriage if that was their only choice, they just wouldn't get married period.

    2. "It gives a wrong message to children." Well if being straight was giving the right message to children, then why are the vast majority of gays born to straight parents? And no, not all gays come from abusive or dysfunctional families. Telling children that all men and women are not equal citizens in this country is giving them the wrong message.

    3. "Gay sex is dirty." While I'm sure some people stick to the 2 or 3 positions that God personally condones (sarcasm), a lot of straight married couples do the exact same things as gay couples do. Nowhere else is sex even a talking point for legal decisions, since it's private. As for children, is it any less traumatizing to accidentally walk in on your straight parents doing it?

    4. "Children need a father and mother." Actually, children need 2 loving parents to care for them and raise them. The gender of said parents is inconsequential. Women can still "father" and men can "mother," as evident by the fact that those terms vary so greatly from culture to culture, and parental roles cross gender lines all the time.

    There are a lot of couples I see who I think shouldn't get married, for various reasons. But I have no right to tell them they can't do it, let alone put a ban on it. Besides personal fear and religious belief, what's an actual, coherent argument for not letting gay couples marry?
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