About this iReport
  • Approved for CNN

  • Click to view pikt56's profile
    Posted May 11, 2012 by
    Wilmington, Delaware
    This iReport is part of an assignment:
    Living without Facebook?

    Is my life that boring?


    CNN PRODUCER NOTE     'I am not against it; it's just not for me,' says pikt56 of Facebook.
    - rachel8, CNN iReport producer

    Facebook Member (Oct 2001-July 2011)
    10 Months Facebook Free

    I was on Facebook atleast three to five times a day. I would log on to see what my friends were doing, what family was doing or random people that I have met online because they thought I was attractive or I knew them for 5 seconds in high school.
    I noticed how much fun everyone was having, I notice how many friends my other friends had and how many responses they got and I compared them to mine. So to make myself feel important I made up exaggerated posts to garner attention from friends of years and others of days. Does that make sense....no but maybe I was not aware that I was unconsciously doing that until I got off.
    Nov 2010 - Also I discovered that the person I was dating was cheating via Facebook and caused a huge disagreement on what innocent conversation is. That relationship is over so to speak. PS I reconnected with him (High school Boyfriend) on Facebook, how ironic. Facebook has become another avenue to discover infidelity and left a bad taste. However... I discovered the dimensions of what Facebook can really show on several levels of deception.
    Did I care what these other people were doing? Are my comments genuine when I am actually envious of there "great lives"...I found myself saying yes and then another thought came to me. Do these people feel the same about me? Do they even care about what I am doing? Do they call to check up on me, do we hang out? Why do I need to know about your family BBQ when you were a crush from college? We met and now we drift apart. That is life. If either person cared then we would have kept in contact. So I tried to clean out all the "associates" friends from my real ones but I still found my life not exciting as everyone else and at some point, after the break up and "Facial cleanse" of Facebook friends, I realize that I have a small group of people that i can call friends. That regardless of Facebook they actually care about me and I about them. If the rest of the people that were on my list didn't call or text or emailed then I won't be missed. I wouldn't have mattered if they knew what I was doing. Maybe to spread gossip to more people that I don't even know. So....I got off. Some people called and other didn't even notice. I didn't have to post some story about my day and I was not preoccupied with what everyone else was doing. I focused on myself and my group of real friends before and after facebook and they are still there.

    When I say I am not on Facebook I get...."Wow I wish I could get off too"... that surprises me a lot. But I also get " Really...not on Facebook Why?..." To which I say.... " I was on Facebook for the wrong reason". That is the simplest version of my written story today. Alot of people try to get me to go back on and I tell them I will think about it. But...the more I hear about all the privacy issues and the ways people can be connected...know where you are and where you eat...who you hang out with, its an invasion into my life. Why must I pay the price of my every move recorded with out my consent in many cases just to keep up with my friends? If a "Like" is on a website...a cookie tracks me Facebook user or not....just a rumor but its not impossible. Makes me rethink joining any social media venue.

    Will I remain off Facebook? I think so because I know who my real friends are.

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