This iReport is part of an assignment:
Living without Facebook?
About this iReport
- Posted May 16, 2012 by
- mmccormick4 Follow
Location
Staten Island, New York
Staten Island, New York
Assignment
 |
More from mmccormick4
More iReports you should see
Social (Media) Anxietyy Disorder
I am a 25 year-old college grad from New York. Like many of my pals, I enjoy playing sports, meeting girls my age and interacting with my friends over the internet. I also happen to struggle with depression, anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
In fall 2011, unemployed, overwhelmed and extremely depressed, I made the decision to axe my Facebook account.
At the time of amputation I had amassed around 330 “friends”. Incredibly, the night before deletion, I could not bring myself to message a single person notifying them of my imminent electronic departure.
I had increasingly felt that Facebook and its hordes of users were demanding something from me that I could no longer offer: an unquestioning compliance with a culture of invasive, offensive and aggressive “life-sharing.”
At a time in my life when I did not even want to confess my true feelings of guilt, shame and anxiety to my parents or siblings, Facebook demanded that I provide a constant stream of public dialogue in order to stay relevant on the news feeds of virtual strangers.
One element of my OCD involves frequent “checking” of my whereabouts and day-to-day activities to ensure I have caused no harm to myself or others. Naturally, I started using Facebook as a crutch for this disorder, conducting nightly reviews of my online posts, wall photos and comments to prove, for example, that I could not have pushed a stranger in front of a cab this afternoon, because look, right here, at 2:20 PM, I “liked” my friend Dave’s photo of his new bike. When my mental illness reached this extremely low point, I knew I had to quit social media.
I am slowly recovering, thanks to medicine and therapy. But even if one day my anxiety subsides completely, I do not believe I will ever rejoin Facebook.
In fall 2011, unemployed, overwhelmed and extremely depressed, I made the decision to axe my Facebook account.
At the time of amputation I had amassed around 330 “friends”. Incredibly, the night before deletion, I could not bring myself to message a single person notifying them of my imminent electronic departure.
I had increasingly felt that Facebook and its hordes of users were demanding something from me that I could no longer offer: an unquestioning compliance with a culture of invasive, offensive and aggressive “life-sharing.”
At a time in my life when I did not even want to confess my true feelings of guilt, shame and anxiety to my parents or siblings, Facebook demanded that I provide a constant stream of public dialogue in order to stay relevant on the news feeds of virtual strangers.
One element of my OCD involves frequent “checking” of my whereabouts and day-to-day activities to ensure I have caused no harm to myself or others. Naturally, I started using Facebook as a crutch for this disorder, conducting nightly reviews of my online posts, wall photos and comments to prove, for example, that I could not have pushed a stranger in front of a cab this afternoon, because look, right here, at 2:20 PM, I “liked” my friend Dave’s photo of his new bike. When my mental illness reached this extremely low point, I knew I had to quit social media.
I am slowly recovering, thanks to medicine and therapy. But even if one day my anxiety subsides completely, I do not believe I will ever rejoin Facebook.
- TAGS:
- GROUPS:
What do you think of this story?
Select one of the options below. Your feedback will help tell CNN producers what to do with this iReport. If you'd like, you can explain your choice in the comments below.
Be and editor! Choose an option below:
More from this assignment - Living without Facebook?
iReport welcomes a lively discussion, so comments on iReports are not pre-screened before they post. See the iReport community guidelines for details about content that is not welcome on iReport.
© 2013 Cable News Network. 
Comments