Today  throughout the US of A, we take time to honor those men who are  responsible for giving us life. Today, we say, "Happy Father's Day!"

Yet  it seems that what is sad on this day set aside to honor fathers, is  that fathers have been relegated to a 2nd class status in comparison to  mothers. Fathers are more seen as a paycheck and sperm donor and less as  an integral part in a child's life and development.

Why is there such disregard for a father's place in society, in a child's life and development?

Are fathers needed in this age of science when ovum fertilization can take place in a labratory?

So  are my thoughts as I sit here in Mark's Den. I am a father and  grandfather, but often feel as if I have no role in the lives of my  sons.

With  my oldest son, Dave, I did not have a place or role until he was 25  years of age. His mother made sure that I did not lay eyes on my son or  know his whereabouts in keeping with a vow she made before he was born.

I remember that day well. It was October 31, 1978.

At  the time I was in the Air Force. We had been married for almost 6  months. I had gone to work sick. I checked in at the infirmary. I  literally was bouncing from wall to wall to make it to a hospital bed to  lay down.

I  called my then-wife to come and pick me up and bring me home. I was so  sick. A little over 2 hours later she arrived to take me back to our  house in Peru, Indiana, a few miles from Grissom Air Force Base where I  was stationed.

She  had just been honorably discharged from the Air Force as her option for  being pregnant. As she picked me up, I was bowed over in the passenger  seat, unable to lift my head from the illness. As we drove back to our  house, she informed me her mother and sister had arrived. The three of  them had packed up everything and she was leaving me.

I  stumbled into the house both in shock and so sick, so very sick. I  managed to make it to the bedroom, falling on the bed and passing out.  Several hours later I finally woke. The house was deadly quiet. On the  pillow next to me was a note.

The  note stated that she didn't love me, never had and had been with me to  get pregnant and get out of the Air Force. But what hit me the hardest  was how she wrote that I would never see my unborn child. I would never  have a part in that child's life.

She  kept her vow for over 25 years. I searched and searched, but to no  avail until Dave was 13. She finally let me know where they were, but  only to get more child support.

At  our divorce hearing, the judge gave me an option since she failed to  appear. I had the option of the judge granting me custody or keeping  custody with the mother. I chose the latter after the judge informed me  that a custody order to me would be just paper and no other state would  honor it.

At  that time, fathers had next to no rights. It was presumed by courts at  the time, the child was always better with the mother. Fathers had no  place.

When  Dave was 13, there was a new child support hearing. His mother and  grandmother made the trip from North Carolina to Indiana. She did not  bring Dave with her.

I  began correspondence with Dave. That lasted a couple of months until  the day I received a letter back telling me that there was no such  person at the address I had.

I  learned later that his mother had a friend of her's in the base post  office to send one of Dave's letters to me sent back to him with return  to sender as well. She used that ruse to cut off ties yet again.

Then  there was that evening when Dave was 25 that we connected online. First  Dave connected with my youngest son, Kev, his brother.

After  a couple of weeks talking online, Kev and I traveled to Indianapolis to  meet for the first time Dave and his wife, Anna. Turns out that Dave  had always been looking for me as well. He had met Anna online and moved  to Indianapolis to later marry her.

Dave had returned to the state he was conceived and in which I and his brother lived.

That Father's Day was the most joyous of my life. I had both of my sons at last.

Now  I sit here 8 years later. Dave is now 33 and father of my beautiful  granddaughter, Dylan, and another granddaughter on the way, due  September 12. He and his family still live in Indianapolis about 100  miles from the Cornfield.

Kev  is married and coming upon his 2-year anniversary in July. He and his  wife, Hailey, live in Austin, Texas about 1,000 miles from the  Cornfield.

Although  I was unable to be a father to Dave growing up, I never stopped loving  or thinking of him. With Kev, although his mother and I divorced, I was  able to play a role in his life.

No  matter the rough times, the disappointments, the depressive ups and  downs, it was all worth it to be able to proudly say, "Those are my  sons."

I  have no greater joy than seeing my sons now grown into men with  families of their own. My sons have made and make my life worthwhile.

While society may still see fathers as 2nd class...my sons affirm to me that I am world class.