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    Posted July 12, 2012 by
    Charlotte, North Carolina
    This iReport is part of an assignment:
    Terrible vacation, great photos?

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    Antigua: Para-dicey


    CNN PRODUCER NOTE     HotBrass says he mostly just laughs now when he thinks about his bad honeymoon trip. "We never looked at it as a total loss, more of a very "memorable" experience in ways we never expected. It was too ludicrous to be angry about," he says. "We've taken other vacations abroad since then, with much greater success."
    - Anika3, CNN iReport producer

    My wife and I headed to Antigua for our honeymoon, and it went badly from the moment we landed. Sandals had no record of our reservation for the honeymoon suite, causing us to sit in the lobby until the middle of the night, wondering how much they're going to charge us to sleep on the lobby couch. The beach in front of the resort is not private; in fact, it's choked with drug dealers who do not take kindly to "no thank you" (at one point, one of the locals on the beach told me I had better watch my back because the pusher who's drugs I had declined "wants to hurt you"). The resort was terrible: terrible service (it frequently took two hours to get our simple poolside order for two bloody marys); it turned out that "all inclusive" means "includes everything except the stuff you want, which is extra... a lot extra" (the CD with the pictures that the wandering photographer takes was $175 for 11 pictures!), and even food or beverages come with a stiff upcharge if you don't stick with whatever is strictly listed in the "included" list - which is pretty short and not great quality; the resort lists "9 five star restaurants" when they should have said "8 two star restaurants with horrible service and one sushi bar" (in all fairness, the sushi bar was excellent and was the highlight of our trip... sadly). And as for the island itself, the people are extremely unfriendly and lazy (for example, the lady behind the counter at the airport when we checked in took our luggage with a frown and a grunt, then left for 3 hours... not one person came back to the counter to tell us why we were still sitting there hours after our flight was supposed to depart), and the main town of St. John's is exactly like Detroit with palm trees. Anyway, i could go on and on and include the whole situation with finding what I was almost certain was a portion of a human bone that had been cleanly sawed off (to which the police simply simply said, "we'll look into it" and through it in the trash). But the pics on the resort are nice and we tried to look like we were having fun, which is like the old saying, "well, aside from that Mrs. Lincoln, the play is excellent!"
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