- Posted July 18, 2012 by
San Juan City, Philippines
This iReport is part of an assignment:
Work and motherhood
Adapt, Compromise & Communicate
- sarahbrowngb, CNN iReport producer
Three months after I delivered my son, I started working. Prior to being an online teacher, I worked as a marketing executive for more than half a decade. My office was in another city. I’d need to beat the traffic, leave home very early while my son was still sleeping, travel home during rush hour and arrive home late at night when he’s already asleep. I would describe myself then as more of a career woman than a mom. A nanny took care of him. We had a maid.
Eventually my son became vocal and asked why he doesn’t see me often. That was all it took.
I resigned from work and decided to spend more time with him. But it wasn’t that easy. Without work, we had to face financial restrictions. I then tried to be a homemaker (no more maid and nanny) and a better mom. My son began to get good grades because I was there to help him. The school administrator even noticed the positive change and joked about hiring me as a teacher. That was when it hit me. I want to be a teacher.
When my son was in school, I was in the university. I took up Secondary Education. When he came home, I was there. I finished the course, applied for a teaching position in his school and got hired. My son and I went to school together every day. I worked and earned income while he was learning. The best thing was I was just there whenever he needed me.
Latterly, I got pregnant with my second child and needed to make big adjustments. That was when I decided to work from home.
I planned, acted on it and learned how to make it work.
It’s true that challenges are always present. Everything we do whether it’s new or something we’ve been doing for years, the conflicts and demands are always there.
What have I learned from all these 14 and a half years of being a working mom?
Adapt. Children grow up and their needs change. Our work demands changes too. Our home and work skills continuously need to improve. I've set schedules and there is really a need to modify them every so often.
Compromise. Children need to learn how to give and take as much as we need to learn when to stand up from our work table and give our attention to them.
Communicate. Children need to understand why you need those hours during the day for isolation – to work effectively and continue to earn income. It doesn't take one explanation. I talk to my kids about it once in awhile, particularly, when they forget about it. When you are a homebased working mom, children tend to just run to you anytime they want. By talking to them and explaining well how they need to respect your work, they will not only learn about the importance of having a job and making a living but also patience. "I'm just on the other side of this door. Please wait for me to finish my work then we'll play your favorite game together..."
Share. Children need to have some time to have fun with you and they will most definitely share and show you how they do it. You share what’s fun for you too.
And like I said, there are always challenges. As a mom of two, I am still coping and contending with it every day. But this I know for sure - two things that help me do all these are by giving my best and keeping it simple.