- Posted August 14, 2012 by
This iReport is part of an assignment:
Living with MS
The World's Best Mother with MS.
In the past years, my mother has lost everything she loved. Since she started to shake and lose more and more abilities, she lost her drivers license. She can’t write anymore or use her hand for things such as that and her walking has declined to the point where she uses a walker and a cane for most things. Even a wheelchair is needed for long walking circumstances. She had to retire from nursing which was her passion in life, and felt shorted after all the hard work she put into it. She lost her beautiful singing voice and her memory is declining to the point where she is forgetting even my cousin’s names. I have heard her talk about how she wants to die so she would be put out of her misery. How she wishes she would of gotten Cancer instead. At least there’s treatment for that. That is the only thing I have ever heard my mother complain about. She never complains about the pain she is in or the extreme sadness she feels about the losses in her life because of this disease. Never complains. Since my father works and me and my youngest sister are both in school she spends a lot of time alone at home. It is as if life is passing my mother by in slow motion, and she can’t do anything to change the way things happened. She can only pray about things, and this is who taught me how prayer works in people’s lives.
Since my mother was sick, I have grown up learning most things on my own and it has taught me to be an independent worker, and a woman of God. It has taught me to cherish health and people around you, because you never know when things will be altered or taken from you in a blink of an eye. If you don’t know enough information about M.S. it is an incurable disease, there has been no cure or even close to a cure. They still don’t even know what really causes the disease. There are medications available but nothing has worked for my mother. It gives me a feeling of hopelessness. It is the feeling that I am lost in a crazy world, just hopelessly watching my mother decline. Watching a beautiful strong woman decline, watching, watching. With no words or thoughts that could make it go away. Nothing will make it go away. The only thing to ease the pain that my family feels is prayer. It is what gives us strength, something to look forward to, something to comfort me. I have been so mad at times that it makes me physically sick, I have cried so hard to the point of no return it seems. I have been struck with green jealousy looking at families with normal Mother’s who can walk, and sing, and be nurses, and play and love life. I get angry with people who have forms of M.S. that show barely any symptoms. “Why did my mother get this?” I ask God. God has never answered this, but I know one day there will be a reason and I will be content and can smile and look back and just know it was all for the big scheme of things.
Since my mother was diagnosed with this disease when I was very young, this is all I’ve known of my mother. I love her regardless of this disease. Despite being sick, she still loves life; and sees the beauty in all of its challenges. She is the best mother a Girl could ask for and has taught me life's lessons: Live life abundantly, be thankful, thank God.