- Posted September 24, 2012 by
My two years in the fire of agony ( 1st part )
The call on December 29, 2008 with my dear son Kumar turned out to be the last call with him. As it was Saturday, as usual Kumar had decided to spend a bit his time in the company of his friends since he had come back from abroad just a week ago. He called and informed me that he is going to be bit late in the evening. After his call, the other members of the family including the grandparents, sister Saraswoti, brother Krishna who were looking forward to meet him, went in their rooms to sleep. My wife Laxmi and I also were preparing to go to bed. Laxmi slept thinking about the son. I was watching the television program on current affairs presented by late Indra Lohani. The program ended at 10 pm. I realized it was late as other rooms were silent and everybody was in deep sleep already. I went to toilet. Kumar had still not arrived. The fatherly love made me pip through the window of his room as the youngest son was sleeping alone without his big brother.
As I entered my room, I began feeling worries as it was already 10:15 pm about his whatabouts and whereabouts. I pressed his number 9851075888 in my mobile, it was switched off, I felt cold in my heart as I was worried. Instantly I pressed his second mobile no. 9841237347 which was also switched off. At this, my heart started trembling. I felt sweat coming out in my forehead even in that cold winter of December. Repeatedly, I pressed both of his numbers but weren’t any response.
Spontaneously, I find myself turning again the TV and put on the avenues channel to see if there were any breaking news about tragic incidents but there weren't any. My heart was really worried. I started pressing the Emergency Police number 103. Simultaneously Krishna knocked the door in hurry. I asked him what happened and if Kumar had come. He replied that the police had called him to inform that there is a motorbike accident in front of media village. I asked him once again to know who had called him and he repeated it was from police.
At this, first I encouraged Krishna to hold patience and asked him to go with me and not to worry as I was with him but I could imagine his condition. I was thinking how he is taking this situation as he used to hide himself beside the wide chest of his big brother while sleeping. Instantly I went to the motorbike without missing any time. As I started the bike, Laxmi, my wife was awakened. She came to me hurriedly and asked, “Where are you going this late?”, “Has the son arrived”? “Why has Krishna awakened; is everything all right"? At her questions of worries, I had no other chance but to answer her instantly. I pretended that our son Kumar had broken his leg in a motorcycle accident. At this, her motherly heart was worried and she started praying to god and asked to take her with us. At the same time she was worried about the pain of her son. To handle the situation, I asked her to go and sleep quiet in a loud voice and asked her to keep cool in urgency as it was just a minor injury and I would bring him back after the treatment. Little Krishna was beside me trembling due to cold winter but it was fear inside him which was more responsible. By then, more members of the family had surrounded us including my mother and daughter Swoti. We use to call our daughter ‘Swoti’ lovingly to shorten her name Saraswoti. I started the bike and ordered everyone strictly in a loud voice to enter inside the room.
In 3-4 minutes my bike stopped at seeing the crowd. The situation had clarified the story. I thought silently that I could never meet his again in this life. My everything, my heart, my most precious jewel, my most adorable son's corpse was lying down in blood on the road amid the lights of the police and the surrounding crowd.
The ill fated motorcycle was lying down beside his body. Little Krishna child heart couldn't believe his eyes. He was controllingly witnessing the dead body of his Big brother. My consciousness couldn't respond as I felt neither pain nor grief just my eyes witnessed the scene. The police were pushing the crowd behind and asked me to push back. The word came out of my mouth "I am the father of the victim". As I uttered this word, the police surrounded me as there was also a police doctor. I asked them in a faint voice "was it a spot death?'. Instantly they replied that it was a fatal accident resulting to spot death without even letting him a chance to move. They added that bike was in speed as it collided with an electric pole which may be caused by the headlight coming from opposite direction causing serious disturbance. I was not in condition to further interrogate and asked them to continue their formalities. I asked them to take care of my youngest Krishna until I come back. They accepted and told me not to go in bike and asked me if I needed a van. I thanked them looking towards Krishna. Krishna was crying in tears with both of his hands in his head. A compelled father was forced to see the dead body of a son on one side and the mourning of another son on the other. Besides, I also had to convince the 84 years aged elderly father, 78 years old mother, my wife Laxmi, daughter Swoti including second son Balram who was in the US and other relatives as well. I was amazed to see the changes in me despite this shocking tragedy I was calm with no pain and no cry. The situation forced me to face the situation, control myself and bear the responsibility. While such thoughts were coming in my mind, the bike had already reached the home. As soon as I reached, a load of questions with curiosity spearheaded towards me. For some moments, I was totally helpless without having any idea of tackling the situation. Instantly my mind started acting fast and suddenly the words came out of my mouth. I lied replying, "Seems like the leg is broken, I will come back after taking him to hospital" but thousands of questions had arisen inside me how to resolve the situation.
As my closest cousin Arjun, lives nearby, I decided to take him with me to the spot. For further support, I also called my nearer brother. He also came out. Everybody were frightening as nobody dared to question me after. I asked the brother to start the van and he started instantly. I asked my niece to park the motorcycle down safely. Three of us stepped inside the van. I was feeling severely uncomfortable and harshly suffocated to conceal the truth. But then I decided to reveal the truth to them as I had no other alternatives since the spot was just some 500 meters away from home. I don't know what worked inside me, I instantly came out from the van, took my daughter Swoti some 50 meters away, shut her mouth with my hands and begged her quietly "Daughter, please help me, I am going to tell you unbearable news, you shall not cry and weep, your brother has left us forever in a fatal motorcycle accident and I have come after witnessing his dead body, little brother is there, control yourself, we have no other alternatives, please take care of mother, grandpa and grandma, don't tell anyone until I come back, later both of us will handle the situation, I will come back after taking his body to the morgue house". She started to cry faintly but I insisted her to control and attached her in my chest. This made me cry almost but I didn’t (in fact I couldn’t) not to aggravate the situation. I again told her to hold patience and not to tell anyone and I stepped inside the van. Instantly, the van stopped at the spot. As we stepped out of the van, the scene was visible. At the scene, the cousin and brother and until then silent little Krishna all three broke down uncontrollably. I tried to assist the police preparing the documentation. The others were carrying the other three to the van who were uncontrollably lying down on the road.
to be continue.....