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  • Posted October 7, 2012 by
    manhattan, New York

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    BREAKING NEWS FROM BROADWAY NEWS! Shubert honcho’s insisting future backers be fingerprinted! Plus, tourist hit by punch bag thrown from Shubert Executive offices!


    Shubert Organization joint CEO’s Phil Smith and Bob Wankel are still reeling from the collapse of ill-fated musical Rebecca at the Broadhurst theatre due to the death of “elusive” investor Paul Abram’s from malaria and are now insisting that all backers investing in shows playing Shubert houses have hair samples taken and be fingerprinted. Adding to the equation, if they are traveling to London or Africa in the future they must be inoculated for not only Malaria, but also, after the recent death of a London resident, (not a Rebecca investor) Congo Fever.
    Softening the blow of an imminently dark Broadhurst theater has been the coming together of Shubert chairman and his ex-wife Tricia Walsh Smith who are in talks to move her new musical Change the Day into the flagship theater, thus saving the Shubert’s from having to fork out on overheads if the Broadhurst were to remain dark. Change the Day, described as Chorus Line meets It’s A Wonderful Life, is set in a school for the performing arts in limbo. Walsh-Smith held a workshop for the show on her hit Sky One television series Louie Spence’s Showbusiness, which has been sold around the globe.
    “Trust black sheep Walsh-Smith to use this opportunity to wheedle her way back to Broadway,” sniffed one publicist who didn’t wish to be named. “She was in the Shubert fold for thirteen years -- knows all their strengths and weaknesses and is only too aware that a theater such as the Broadhurst shuttered will cause head honchos Phil and Bob endless sleepless nights. They’re confused and vulnerable at the moment – even Shubert’s have hearts. Walsh-Smith’s taking advantage.”
    Despite the cynicism of the Broadway despot quoted, Broadway News has learned from reliable sources that the organization are delighted that their chairman and Walsh-Smith have finally laid down arms, and this morning in way of celebration a punch bag belonging to Phil Smith with his ex wife’s face imprinted on it was thrown from the top floor of Shubert executive offices into Shubert Alley, regrettably knocking a Japanese tourist senseless.
    At the time Broadway News went to print with this article there had been no further information regarding the condition of the tourist or whether he will sue.


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