TORONTO - Mom, it's months before Mother's Day but before asking you in advance what surprise you want from your son, I thought I'd send a list of requests through the American Association of Retired Persons.

I want to tell you something first Mom, I want to ask you to stop upsetting me and my readers when you say "Son, you should write for The Globe and Mail".

I say no way, I refuse to write to the newspaper syndicate because those individuals pander to a 100-mile organic rhetoric in their coverage of the news and editorials, yet they do not source their newsprint and pulp paper supplies within that same 100-mile zone. For shame.

Mother, I am thinking of getting a German schnauzer or American beagle for you as a dog present. Please respond here by learning how to write for http://wordpress.com

Also Mother, I am organizing a Scooter show for 2014 at the Queen & Sherbourne Streets intersection to celebrate our Moss Park community.