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    Posted November 22, 2012 by
    Eshkol Region, Western Negev, Israel
    This iReport is part of an assignment:
    Israel-Gaza conflict: Your stories

    More from adeleraemer

    Controversial Ceasefire - It's Personal


    CNN PRODUCER NOTE     adeleraemer lives in an Israeli kibbutz very close to the border with Gaza, and has experienced days of rocket attacks from the territory. She says that while Thursday has been the first day in a long time that she could walk around without fear, she considers the ceasefire "problematic". "I do not believe that this will really stop the rockets," she says, "[but] a ground invasion would have been even more problematic - it is important to know when to stop." What she hopes for is a sense that there is "a bigger plan" in place, rather than a quick fix. For now, she says, she feels a little safer.
    - sarahbrowngb, CNN iReport producer

    Last night at 9 p.m. Israel time, a controversial ceasefire came into effect. The controversy of the ceasefire is not because Israelis do not want peace – we DO. Peace has been the aim ever since the State of Israel was founded. The reason why it is so controversial is because, after all that we have gone through in the past week and over the past 11 years (since the first rocket was fired from Gaza in 2001), many of us who live on the border with the Gaza Strip do not feel that this will bring an end to the rockets.

    In fact, in the past 15 hours since the “ceasefire” there have been at least 7 rockets shot at Israel. (Well – two last night, really close to the time after the cease fire…. But maybe their watches weren’t set right) and five so far this morning (but they were only on the settlements near the border…. and some of the rockets have fallen within Gaza, anyway) ……so no one really cares.


    A LOT of people here in the south feel let down and abandoned.


    I feel let down and abandoned.


    Not that I want war. I want peace. I want the security to be able to walk around outside without checking for falling projectiles (with and sometimes without warning). I also want Adham to be able to do the same thing, in Gaza. Is that asking too much?


    Above, is one of the numerous projectiles that were fired at me a few days ago. It is still lodged in a road, not far from my son's room,  within the perimeters of my kibbutz community.  Another is of a window that was pierced by shrapnel from a mortar that landed in the fields about 50 meters away from the house.


    The pictures are not sensational, bloody depictions. In a way, this makes it all the more horrendous: that my government – and the world - feel that because no one here was killed, or seriously injured, or even lightly injured, that is it ok for the situation to continue. That it is ok for this to be a part of my life: the fear, and knowledge, that the sky could be pierced at any moment with metal and explosives soaring into my world. Metal and explosives that can do this to a road, or a window.


    Appearing here, also, are some of the brave soldiers (kids!) who bravely risked their lives so that I could remain in my home. The mortar pipe you see in the ground, landed without prior warning, (as these devils are known to do) and almost hit one of these guys, who was not far away, on guard duty (not even in a protective vehicle.....with only the protection of his helmet and flak jacket). This is exactly how a soldier was killed yesterday, in a kibbutz not far from mine. The reverberation of the landing broke the windows in my son's room, as well as others.


    Since the beginning of this war, 1500 rockets have been fired at my country. A bus exploded in mid-town Tel Aviv. Reactions in the West Bank and Gaza: people distributed sweets and candies (reminder: this was a widespread reaction when the Twin Towers fell, as well).


    All this… this isn't politics. It’s personal.  I can only hope that somebody up there knows what they are doing, and they have found a way to use this to reopen talks. REAL talks.

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