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    Posted December 3, 2012 by
    Boston, Massachusetts
    This iReport is part of an assignment:
    CNN Fit Nation: 2013 Triathlon Challenge

    Trying to right wrongs

    I don’t have a sob story or anything that distinguishing me from the crowd. I am simply a person who has been unhappy and lost my way and looking to get back on track. I could give you a long story of how I ended up the way I am today. The short version? I was super active and played sports growing up and through high school. I so skinny I was called anorexic (which I definitely wasn’t). I stopped playing sports in college but was still pretty active walking everywhere.
    Then I graduated college and entering the work force. I replaced walking with driving, sometimes up to 4 hours a day. I developed bad habits and started to drink very frequently. I slowly gained weight, which wasn’t a bad thing. I liked when I noticed people stopped calling me anorexic. After about a 10 lbs weight gain/definition loss, I was getting a lot of compliments ironically on how good I looked. Then those stopped but the weight didn’t. I was getting more and more unhappy with my life but couldn’t figure out how to change.
    Then I got laid off. My eating was horrible and very sporadic. I was less active than I ever was. I gained some weight right off the bat. I eventually got a part time job a gym but was too embarrassed about my weight to work out there. I also got a puppy which helped me break out of my funk a little. I was walking him regularly and that helped. Then I moved into a temp location and kind of lost a kitchen. I started working a temp job, which was good to help get me back on a regular eating and structure. I began to eat out a lot and eat a lot of white starches, which I hadn’t done in years. I gained some more weight.
    I have done this to myself. I know I have. I am not making excuses. I have tried to change multiple times. However, I have some mental issues that I need to overcome. When I ran track, I was a sprinter and only ran 400m or less. Running longer distances is such a mental challenge for me, I am not sure how to overcome it. Another issue is trying to do too much. I feel like if I can’t get a full workout in, its not worth it (I know that isn’t true, the exact opposite is). Or I burn myself out right off the bat. I’ll work out too much or push myself too much and can’t stay with it.
    I also became a semi vegetarian/vegan about 4 years ago. I cut out meat, poultry and eggs immediately out of my diet. I eat seafood occasionally but I would like to cut dairy completely out of diet. I have had a hard time balancing out my diet since giving up the eggs. I feel like my body has never been the same since.
    I want to do this challenge for multiple reasons. I have wanted to do a triathlon since high school and never got around to doing it. I want to change my life for the better. I want a restart. I am hopefully starting a new full time (permanent) job soon and I want to do it with working out built in. I know I can do the tri and I know I can get myself back to where I need to be; however I know I need help to do so. I need someone to help push and guide me to get there. I need someone to help me from pushing too hard too fast. I have thought about getting a personal trainer but I can’t afford one, even occasionally. As badly as I want to get going, I live in New England, and I need someone to help me get my butt in gear in the winter months.
    I miss my body. I want to eat properly and train properly. When I was at my fittest I was about 125. Now I am probably closer to 165. I am slowly trying to break my bad habits and replace them with good ones.
    I got myself in a hole and I want to get myself out. I just know I need help to do so. I would love to make a fresh start in the new year.
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