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    Posted December 4, 2012 by
    Lawrenceville, Georgia
    This iReport is part of an assignment:
    CNN Fit Nation: 2013 Triathlon Challenge

    I aspire to inspire.


    My name is Cindy. I am 23 years old. A junior in college in the state of GA. I have been in a constant battle with my weigh from the age of 10. I was an obese young girl with a very low self-esteem. I hated who I saw in the mirror every day. I became suicidal short after and the weight kept adding up. I tried to commit suicide many times because I felt so worthless. I was bullied due to my weight and my smile soon became sadness followed by anger. I was picked on by all the boys in class which made me feel terrible in a daily basis. I was not allowed to join any extracurricular activities so I did not have a way to lose all the extra weight. Throughout my teenage years I tried to become anorexic and bulimic, but it didn't work for long. I had found comfort in food and was not able to stop eating for long. Due to my suicidal attempts I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression at the age of 16. Therapy helped a little or at least while I went. It wasn't until I reached 220lbs at only 5'3 that I knew I had to stop and do something drastic with my life. I joined a gym and started eating healthy and was able to drop to 135lbs. Unfortunately, some weight has come back and I am desperate. I desperately need this for I know it will change my life forever. I desperately need to surround myself with people moving towards the same goal, become health physically and mentally. I need to learn to stop eating to "feel better". I am at 160lbs and slowly gaining the weight back. Every day I wake up scared. I am absolutely scared to go back to where I once was. Unfortunately, when I see myself in the mirror I just see who I used to be. I rarely see the long way I've come. I am so terrified to be 220lbs again. Every day I work so hard to be positive and not let my emotions get the best of me,but it is hard. This is why I wanna be part of your team. I would love to practice a sport since I was not allowed as a child. I would love to become an athlete and I believe it is never too late. Most importantly I want to help others. I know there are many girls and young women out there that can relate to my story. I would love to let them know they are not alone. I would love for them to know how special and unique they are. I want to let anyone know that changing your life around is hard after being in a hole for too long, but it is not impossible. I would love to inspire anyone to stand up tall and confident and love every aspect of themselves. This isn't solely about me, but of the many girls that are suicidal and feel worthless due to bullying and self-steem issues. I wanna prove that with hard work and dedication anyone has the power to turn their life around. I was there once and every day I work hard to leave it all behind and keep moving. Moving forward is extremely hard, but it can be done! I aspire to inspire anyone who has struggled with weight throughtout their life to make the daily choice to take care of their body and mind. I am scared, but gladly accept the triathlon challenge to help/prove myself and anyone that change can be done with desire and determination.

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