After being married for over ten years and was engaged for five years, I was left without a good understanding of how the "dating world" works. My last date was not the first one since my ex fiancée packed his bags and left me. I decided to share this story because I could not get that experience out of my mind.
I've chatted with him several times before we decided to meet up. I was not attracted to him when I saw his online photo; but maybe, I'd be attracted to him in person. The day finally came. As I was walking toward him, he was wearing a blue long sleeve flowery top with an inside shirt that don't seem to match with the outside top.
His body language signals made me uncomfortable and his constant wanting to hold my hand made me want to bolt and run. However, since he took the time to come and see me, I decided to stay and understand him.
Few minutes had gone by, I realized that there was not a spark at all between us. I explained to him that I was not attracted to him. He seem to understand what I said. He requested a hug, so I agreed. We had a friendly hug.
Prior to him coming down, I mentioned that before meeting up with him that I will need to see a mechanic to have my car check. Then after the date, I am going to a fashion shoot.
After telling him not follow or come with me, he followed me to my car mechanic and to the fashion show.
I was already annoyed by his persistency of wanting to follow me while we were in a Mall. For him to follow me at a mechanic shop, I became irritated. I treated him nicely anyway. After a few minutes had passed, my car maintenance was completed. He asked me how to get to the fashion show. Since the show is open to everyone, I gave him a direction.

So we said our goodbyes for the second time. He requested for another hug. I complied innocently only for him to hug me tighter and longer. Not wearing a bra, I felt his chest and his bulging stomach on mine and my body just felt violated. I was aghast and disgusted by his action. The feeling that he left me was unsettling and unnerving.

His bear hug was unwanted because what I agreed to was a friendly hug and nothing more.

What I learned from this date is to make it clear that  if I am agreeing to a hug, it is a friendly hug and nothing more.