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    Posted February 1, 2013 by
    ludenews
    Location
    New York, New York
    Assignment
    Assignment
    This iReport is part of an assignment:
    Tech talk

    The Vatican To Attack Smart Phones/Devil

     
    New York, NY - What some say is “too little, too late” on the part of the Pope, the Catholic leader is still pushing for the removal of either the slide to unlock on smart phones or the drop down menu that you slide down from the top of the screen. Some believe that this is just another attempt for the Catholic Church to divert attention from another matter that is going on, but as Bishop Warrens, who is heading the effort to stop this evil, explains, it is deeply rooted in the Catholic belief system.
    “So you got these technology companies that have been shoving new tech down our throats for who knows how long. They have all these features that will make life easier and and and then this smart phone comes along and it’s a total game changer – not only for regular folks, but for the evil at work behind it. Every day people are sliding to unlock and dropping down their menu to check their messages and whatnot. Some people do it hundreds of times a day, maybe even thousands, I don’t know. But every time you slide to unlock and then directly drop down that menu, you’re making an upside down cross, in reverse from the traditional Catholic way and opening up doors for Satan to march right out and take control of you. People wonder why there is so much evil happening in the world and why there is more and more violence every day. We have found a direct correlation between when the touch screens with their “Innocent” menu accesses were first released and when the violence began to increase. The more people that bought these smart phones and used them, the more violence began to pop up. You can’t ignore findings like this. Satan has has pulled one of the biggest tricks in the history of mankind with this. Everyday millions of people are unknowingly offering themselves up to the Devil and we need to make this stop.”

    Bishop Warrens went on for quite some time about the plan of action to help people stop their evil actions when using their smart phones. Some of the ideas they have come up with is changing to a slide password or instead of dropping the menu down, one should click directly on the icon they want. Bishop Warrens informed us that the Vatican will be enacting his plan in the coming months. He left me with this, “We’ve got to stop this evil. I’m on a mission from God, to save one soul at a time or thousands at a time. We’re going to win, even if it means contact the phone manufacturers. May God be with you in these harsh times.”

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