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- Posted February 5, 2013 by
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King Richard III Bones, Fiscal Budget Notes Found
Leicester, United Kingdom – Scientists and an accountant have found the 500-year-old bones and fiscal budget notes of England’s King Richard III under a parking lot in this former medieval city.
University of Ye Olde History and Bookkeeping researchers state “beyond a reasonable doubt” the remains and tattered papers indeed belong to the war weary and number-crunching king.
King Richard III, the last monarch to die in battle, appears to have been buried on the spot where he died, clutching the notes to his chest, his right hand bones pinching the bridge of his nose where his shattered reading glasses lay.
Lord Reginald Pottyfartwell, head archaeologist/accountant of the expedition, stated, “I dare say the noble king may have died while taking a break from the battle, reading and writing notes from his voluminous fiscal budget manuscript.”
Lord Pottyfartwell, a commanding presence sitting very uncomfortably in a swivel chair in his Hobbit-themed office, read the king’s last words scribbled in the budget manuscript:
'Methinks such drivel written by ye old bastards of legislature shall never be understood, neither by commoner nor king, by serf nor landlord …
'It is more pleasing to thine eyes to observe the mechanics of sausage making than to battle this financial Medusa …
A budget! A budget! My kingdom for a balanced budget!'
University of Ye Olde History and Bookkeeping researchers state “beyond a reasonable doubt” the remains and tattered papers indeed belong to the war weary and number-crunching king.
King Richard III, the last monarch to die in battle, appears to have been buried on the spot where he died, clutching the notes to his chest, his right hand bones pinching the bridge of his nose where his shattered reading glasses lay.
Lord Reginald Pottyfartwell, head archaeologist/accountant of the expedition, stated, “I dare say the noble king may have died while taking a break from the battle, reading and writing notes from his voluminous fiscal budget manuscript.”
Lord Pottyfartwell, a commanding presence sitting very uncomfortably in a swivel chair in his Hobbit-themed office, read the king’s last words scribbled in the budget manuscript:
'Methinks such drivel written by ye old bastards of legislature shall never be understood, neither by commoner nor king, by serf nor landlord …
'It is more pleasing to thine eyes to observe the mechanics of sausage making than to battle this financial Medusa …
A budget! A budget! My kingdom for a balanced budget!'
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