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    Posted February 7, 2013 by
    Annandale, Virginia
    This iReport is part of an assignment:
    Have you had an abortion?

    I Remember It Like it Was Yesterday

    I was young and naive only 18. I believed my boyfriend when he promised to "pull out" so I couldn't get pregnant. Other girls got pregnant, not me. I had always been against abortion. I would never have one. But here I was, pregnant.
    My boyfriend and I were actually engaged but we had no jobs, no place to live. It was my republican mother who brought up the option of abortion. At first I couldn't imagine doing it but I didn't want to put any financial hardship on my parents and after talking it over with my boyfriend I was able to justify by saying we weren't killing our child, we were postponing our child. So, my mother found the most wonderful doctor who asked me if I was sure this was what I wanted to do. He explained it would be done on an out patient basis, like a simple D and C. So on August 4, 1977 my now husband and I aborted what would have been our oldest child.
    I was incredibly relieved but sad all the same. I knew we couldn't afford to raise a child at that time No one on his side of the family knew about it even to this day. I think about what that child might have been, might have been like often, especially on the anniversary.
    Our first child, a daughter, was born in 1980. She was beautiful and healthy. Three years later we had a son. Again, healthy and perfect. I wondered how we could be so blessed. I still wondered about their older sibling that they would never know. Yet, I knew that if we had had that first child we may never have had the second two.
    Then in 2001 our daughter was suddenly killed. I couldn't help but wonder if this was God's way of punishing me/us. Yet I know God is a loving and forgiving God.
    I know my 2 children are together. My son knows about my abortion and the guilt I feel.
    What I would like anyone reading this to know is that I am fully and completely Pro-Choice. I am glad, no matter what, that I was able to make a safe and legal choice to do what I felt I needed to do. I knew, in my younger days, some girls that did not have that choice. They had to go to some fake doctor that would butcher them and nearly kill them. No one should face that. Birth control should be easily accessible and abortion a choice. If you don't want one, don't have one. That's your choice.
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