- Posted February 7, 2013 by
This iReport is part of an assignment:
Have you had an abortion?
We had sex at my parents' house in Connecticut one night when he was visiting. A day or so later I had "middleschmertz" -- the ache that accompanies ovulation. I immediately set about to figure out (pre Internet!) how long sperm lived after intercourse. So when my period, which was due Friday, Aug. 13, didn't arrive, I was prepared.
For many reasons, I was absolutely sure that I couldn't go through with the pregnancy. Along the way I had heard of a local doctor who would help if there was a problem.
By Monday, I was on the phone. "You're barely late. I'll give you some pills to make your period come if it will come," he said. I was sure I was pregnant.
When it was confirmed a week or so later, and honestly I don't even remember getting that news, I was able to make arrangements through a clinic in New York City. By then, I was only about six weeks pregnant. My boyfriend went with me. It was really hot and we had trouble finding the place.
Once we got there, the procedure was over quickly. There was some pain, but it also went away quickly. I had never felt pregnant and didn’t have any after-effects. We spent the weekend at his parents’ place in New Jersey and I drove home. Neither his parents nor mine knew. A subsequent check-up showed I was fine and I immediately went on the pill. It was a mistake I was determined not to make again.
We went on to graduate and got married, but divorced about 10 years later.
I knew early on that having kids was just not right for me and 42 years later, I have had absolutely no regrets. I can’t imagine what my life would have been like if I had had a child then. I’m glad I recognized that early on.
I thought that maybe my mind would change over the years, that my biological clock would go off. No, it didn’t, not even in my second marriage and we’ve been married 26 years.
For me, it was the right decision. I consider myself a nurturing person – it just does not manifest itself through having children.
No woman wakes up in the morning and says, “Oh, I’ll have an abortion today.” Every woman is different. It should be her decision and not that of a politician or religious zealot who has not idea of what it’s like to face an unplanned pregnancy.