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    Posted February 8, 2013 by
    Kansas City, Missouri
    This iReport is part of an assignment:
    Have you had an abortion?

    I Regret Lost Fatherhood!!

    13 years ago I was dating a girl and she got pregnant, not once but twice in the first 4 months of our relationship. At the time, she didn't tell me about her first abortion. I drove her to get the second abortion because at the time, I was a young coward and wasn't responsible enough to stand up for my child that was in her womb. Two weeks after the second abortion she went to a doctor because she was having some major issues with her body and we were concerned. The doctor did a procedure to find out what was going on and when my girlfriend woke up from the procedure, the doctor was crying and asked her if she had an abortion and she said "yes, why?" The doctor said "I found hands and feet in you that were left by the abortionist and that is what is causing you all the problems."

    We decided to never tell anyone about the abortions and suppress all our shame and guilt so that no one would find out what we had done. 2 years later that same girl and I were married. For the first 5 years of our marriage, our lives were filled with alcoholism, cheating, pornography addictions and Kelly had suicidal thoughts and even attempted suicide at one point. After having no where else to turn, Kelly found the one man who would save her from this shame and guilt, and that man is Jesus Christ. I saw that change in her and wanted the same change in my life. I did find that same forgiveness and mercy that Kelly found through a bible study.

    I always wanted to blame Kelly for the abortions and let her take the fall for having them because I said to myself, "it wasn't my body, so it wasn't my fault." This couldn't have been more wrong. Now I see that my reason for being a coward was because I was not man enough to respect women and not have sex with my girlfriend before we were married and ready to have a baby. The next thing I realized is that no matter how much it was the "woman's choice" it took two DNA strands to come together to create our child, and I should have fought for my children as they were both half of me. So just because I wasn't the one having the abortion, it was part of me that was being aborted too. I realized I am just as much at fault for the abortion as Kelly was.

    I want to let all men and women know that I regret lost fatherhood and that abortion doesn't just end a human life but it hurts the mother and the father just as much. We all deserve better than abortion.
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