- Posted February 8, 2013 by
This iReport is part of an assignment:
Have you had an abortion?
I found myself with no job, no money and no place to live. Staying at a friends, my dad had my sister call me daily to tell me to have an abortion. Day after day, I kept saying “no”, feeling I had no choice, I gave in to the pressure. To this day I still cannot remember how I got to the hospital. No one told me the development of my baby or about the horrific procedure I was as a teenager about to undergo.
The doctor came into the room with a sadistic look as he injected my abdomen with saline solution. Although at the time I was not aware that this is what was happening, my baby was burning to death inside of me. After hours of labor I delivered a dead baby boy. I saw his tiny feet and hands and I could not believe what I had just done or how this was allowed. I rang for the nurse who came, and dumped my son into a plastic jar marked “3A”. My life was forever changed.
I began a downward spiral. I suffered from depression, anxiety, and panic attacks and made countless bad choices because I did not believe I deserved any better. I sought help, but no one was willing to address my abortion.I was left feeling crazy and alone thinking I was the only one suffering from abortions aftermath.
It impacted every aspect of my life, while society and professionals kept telling me it had nothing to do with my abortion. When did we become a society when killing your unborn child and having it bother you is unacceptable???
Years later through faith and finding a therapist who dealt with post abortion issues, I was finally able to heal. Society is quick to blame it on a persons religious beliefs which they say instills “guilt and shame”. My faith does not instill guilt and shame, my faith brings me the mercy of God, killing my own child and seeing him dead on the bed beside me instilled guilt and shame.
It is my hope that women will come to see, that the truth is what sets us free.