I am rewriting this and adding more details. As a kid i was physically abused by my first stepfather. My mom had taught us abortion was wrong. In 1988 my mom got with my second step father. He began flashing me and I told my mom She told him to stop he was embarrasing me. She later walked in and walked out on my rape. She married him and later left me behind with him. She knew. At the age of 17 almost 18 I got pregnant. He threatened me and forced me to have an abortion. After the abortion my papaw who passed away came to me in my dream and handed me my son. I was devasted because i was papaw's little girl. My mom who was in a whole other state called to ask me if i was pregnant. i denied it. I then called her back and told her about the abortion. She cried. I went downhill very fast and my step father had my mom come back. But instead of being there for me she wouldnt stop calling me a murderer. I got on my bike and purposely closed my eyes and prayed to die. Of course i didn't no one knew it was on purpose. I made it out to be an accident. If it hadnt existed my step father would have never been able to force me to get an abortion. My mom was able later to stop my baby sister from getting an abortion. I wish she had been a mother to me because if she had been it never would have happened. My mom never thought that it affected me. My mamaw had to get counseling she couldn't understand how her grand daughter could do such a thing. Not one oif them knew that day after day I closed my eyes and prayed to die. That I constantly asked my papaw why he didnt take me with him when he died. There is healing there is forgiveness. But no one should have to go through this. No one.
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