- Posted February 9, 2013 by
This iReport is part of an assignment:
First Person: Your essays
Valentine's Day- Love is: Through the Eyes of a Surviving Spouse
Here is a note back to the DeBeers, Godiva, Russell Stover, FTD Florists and all the other places selling LOVE in the next week:
Love is the doctor saying it doesn't look good and holding hands and crying through the details.
Love is looking in his/her eyes and saying EVERYTHING will be okay...even though you know it won't be.
Love is hours and hours spent at hospitals...and in clinics...and chemo...and transfusions.
Love is coming back home after spending a week in the hospital together through some trial treatment and being too exhausted to do anything but sleep for 12 hours straight.
Love is standing by with a cool cloth and the cup of water to rinse their mouth while they vomit from the drugs poisoning their body to save their lives.
Love is losing everything you both worked for all your lives but it is okay because the treatments are giving you another six months or year together.
Love is helping shave their head after the chemo makes them lose their hair and love is being able to tell them they are still as sexy as the day you met them...and mean it.
Love is sleeping for weeks at a time on those hard fold out chairs that make a bed...and sneaking into their hospital bed because it has been years since you slept apart and you know that soon you will never be sleeping together again in this life.
Love is sitting and eating the most fattening concoction you can whip up...with them...even though you need to lose weight...just so you can coax them to take a few more bites because they have lost another ten pounds.
Love is what is left after the "sex" is gone because of all the arcane chemicals pumped in to battle the disease.
Love is realizing that the STUFF is unimportant...what is important is one good week's labwork.
Love is the day you both realize you are losing the battle and talk about the really important stuff.
Love is wondering why you waited so long to talk about the really important stuff.
Love is watching that last breath...or pressing your ear to their chest until the last heartbeat...or saying "I Love You" one more time even after they are already "gone".
Love is missing them for the rest of your life...and realizing you would give anything to pick up their dirty clothes off the bedroom floor again. Or put the seat down. Or the cap back on the toothpast tube she always squeezed from the middle.
No...it probably wouldn't sell a lot of flowers or diamonds or pearls or chocolate...but as every surviving spouse knows-- That is what LOVE is.