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Have you had an abortion?
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- Posted February 10, 2013 by
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Location
Jeannette, Pennsylvania
Jeannette, Pennsylvania
Assignment
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Never forgotten
At the age of 17, I found myself pregnant, scared, and feeling quite alone. I went to the "clinic" and was reassured that, "Honey, it is only blood and cells". The procedure was painful and I was, again, reassured, "Honey, having a baby is much worse" and after this you can go on with your life".
At first, I did feel relief. and, yes, I did go on with my life. Until I started college and began to understand just "what" I had done. Guilt, grief, mourning.... all began to set in. This started a very "dark" period in my life riddled with depression, self-hate, and yes, 2 suicide attempts. I had murdered an innocent little being! What kind of mother does that??!! After 13 years and after I had married my husband (who I had confided in) I finally got up the strength to seek help from Project Rachael with Catholic Charities. They saved my life! I had to face that I was a kid, alone, and that I was lied to "blood and cells".... no, no... it was my child!!! God always loved me and forgave me. I still struggle at times. Did I forgive myself? I don't think a ever will (completely). Forget.... NEVER!
At first, I did feel relief. and, yes, I did go on with my life. Until I started college and began to understand just "what" I had done. Guilt, grief, mourning.... all began to set in. This started a very "dark" period in my life riddled with depression, self-hate, and yes, 2 suicide attempts. I had murdered an innocent little being! What kind of mother does that??!! After 13 years and after I had married my husband (who I had confided in) I finally got up the strength to seek help from Project Rachael with Catholic Charities. They saved my life! I had to face that I was a kid, alone, and that I was lied to "blood and cells".... no, no... it was my child!!! God always loved me and forgave me. I still struggle at times. Did I forgive myself? I don't think a ever will (completely). Forget.... NEVER!
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