I was about 25 and just starting into a relationship where my boyfriend at the time made it clear that he did not want children. I became pregnant almost immediately, and was alone and scared. By the time I learned I was pregnant at a Planned Parenthood Clinic I was almost 2 months along. I was referred to an abortion clinic and proceeded with the abortion. I did not tell anyone or talk with anyone really. The procedure was painful and afterwards I was very ill from cramps so bad I was doubled over. I stayed in the clinic for a long time after most all the other women had been released. Finally someone came to let me know I was futher along in the pregnancy than they anticipated and that was why my recover had been so difficult after the procedure. After several hours I was able to stand and drive myself home. What I did not know was that would be the easy part. One of my friends found out she was pregnant about this time and her child is the same age as mine would have been. As I have watched her grow over the years, my heart always remembers my child... that I terminated...whose very life, I took by making the decision to have an abortion "which was supposidly just a piece of tissue" ...I remember. I remember when my child did not learn to talk, walk, start school, ride a bike, date or turn sweet 16. I remember when my child did not graduate, attend college, get married, or give me grandchildren. I remember, everyday. No one tells you about that part of the abortion process. No one tells you that at some point in your life you realize it is NOT JUST TISSUE, it is a baby. It is a child, your child. And it is a life not lived, a life that you extinguish via abortion, and it is the worst form of child abuse there is out there. No one wants to tell you all that but you learn it and have to find a way to deal with it the rest of your life. Years later, I would find myself working as a counselor and I would come to realize my story is not unique. There are many other women that feel the pain and loss decades and too late realize the REAL SIDE AFFECTS of abortioin. So now I do the only thing I know to do, I tell young women the other side of abortion whenever I can. There were no other children for me after the abortion. Somehow I feel it is just that I not have any others given the flip way I dealt with my first pregnancy. I took what was termed the easy way out. In hind sight, it was not such an easy way.
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