- Posted February 11, 2013 by
This iReport is part of an assignment:
Have you had an abortion?
The beginning of the end
I was married with a 2 year old at the time. My ex-husband and I were going through a very rough time, and I wound up having an affair. I wound up pregnant immediately, but was happy, nonetheless. This was a wanted child. I went to Planned Parenthood in Milwaukee for a pregnancy test. It was suggested that I come back for a follow-up appointment. At the next appointment a few weeks later, it was suggested to me that I think about my situation with my husband and I was told that there would be other times for me to have children. My family, friends and Planned Parenthood all told me that abortion was in my best interest. I looked at pictures of aborted babies online, trying to get an idea of what abortion was, but my friends all told me that the pictures of these babies were fake and that I was being stupid. I decided to leave the father of the baby and wound up making an appointment for the abortion. I was given the twilight sleep injection before the procedure, but it didn't seem to work at all. While on the table in the procedure room, I was wiggling from the pain and tried to sit up. I wanted to leave. A red-headed nurse held my shoulders down and told me to lie there and shut up. It was over pretty quickly after that. I was shocked that I was treated that way.
It took a few years for the depression to sink in. I was in a daze for almost four years following the abortion. I watched the Silent Scream in September of 2006 for the first time, and I was in shock at what I saw. All the terminology that I had heard at the clinic was completely not on par with what this video was showing and telling me! I was taken. Lied to. I killed my child! I cried every day for about six years, and usually more than once a day. I had to go through trauma therapy (EMDR) to get through the day without having an episode.
In 2010 I decided to obtain my records from the abortion. I received an ultrasound picture as well as my medical records/reports from the day of the procedure. All of my paperwork was falsified. ALL OF IT. The only thing that was correct on the stuff they filled out was my name, my birthday, and the date. They made no mention of my medical conditions. They stated that my partner and I were firm in decision to abort (which was the farthest thing from the truth.. they convinced a couple with a wanted pregnancy to abort), and that my partner accompanied me to the procedure and counseling appointments. He was not with me. I went with a friend.
The abortion was a very traumatic experience for me. It has effected every aspect of my life while draining me of happiness. It even effects my children. They have to deal with my depression, and that's not fair to them at all. I wish I would have never let Planned Parenthood take advantage of me. I am forever resenting them for convincing me to take the life of my own child... my own WANTED child, at that.
My suggestion to women: abortion is NEVER worth the heartbreak and pain. It is not easy. It is physically and emotionally painful. If you get pregnant, explore ANY option but abortion. There are so many groups of people who would be willing to help you through any difficulties!