- Posted February 12, 2013 by
This iReport is part of an assignment:
Have you had an abortion?
From Incest to Forced Abortion: A Survivor's Story of Pain and Healing
I experienced physical and sexual abuse throughout my childhood, by three members of my extended family. I lived in the overwhelming pain of almost nightly sexual assaults. I was confused about sexuality and pregnancy and one evening at the dinner table, I blurted out, "I think I'm pregnant, but how do I know for sure?" I was never told. Instead, within days, I was taken at night to a place, where I was tied down and something sucked hard on me. I didn't even know what was happening, but somewhere deep inside, I knew that more violence had occurred. I was sent home with my abuser, no questions asked or answered. I was about 13 years old. I became suicidal, but in order to survive, blocked the details from my memory. I was so fragile emotionally that the sexual assaults finally stopped.
I struggled through the rest of my teen years and went to college, got married and had 3 hildren. It was then that the memories of the years of abuse began to rear up in ugliness. I went through 12 years of counseling. It was through the counseling and my growing faith in Christ Jesus that healing began to ease my pain. Each memory was faced, explored and dealt with. When I began to read the Bible, I found so many verses about healing, that I wrote a devotional - combining tiny steps of healing with the powerful love of God. "Flame of Healing: A Daily Journey of Healing from Abuse and Trauma" was published in March, 2007. It has a journal, for personal, in-depth healing and is helping broken, hurting survivors to process their own pain. I healed more as I wrote it!
The pain of my youth was real; the physical and emotional pain from the physical and sexual abuse, as well as the very real pain that even though I was but a child myself, I was forced to undergo an abortion and unwillingly participate in the killing of a human being has affected my entire life. Through the grace of God, my pain has been transformed to be the very place of hope and healing that I offer to others. I am now speaking out about child physical and sexual abuse, abortion, domestic violence and sex trafficking, as well as my own story of survival and healing. All of these have in common the devaluation of human life. I choose to value human life and stand for the rights of children- born and pre-born, women and also men, to be free from violence.
Flame of Healing is helping survivors throughout the United States and in several other countries to heal from deep wounds. My website is: www.flameofhealing.com