A lonely girl with old fashioned ideas in the midst of the sexual revolution. A bad combination for a young woman with the desire to earn an MRS degree and be a feminist at the same time. This account takes place is late 70's- early 80's. After a hurtful relationship with a long distance relationship, I decided to date again but not become emotionally attached. This boyfriend would satisfy until I found the guy of my dreams. I became pregnant and panicked. We rushed to abort and move on. Then I became pregnant a 2nd time. This crushed me into believing I was worthless and the pregnancy must again come to an end. The relationship ended and I became a girl behind a mask: happy outside but confused inside. I later met the guy of my dreams but because I had no self discipline, a pregnancy resulted. I quickly went back to the same clinic and took care of the problem. i moved forward on this decision too quickly and realized I didn't think this through. I put this all on myself to fix and it hurt so much, it felt so wrong. Somehow I ended up marrying this man and we shared a horrible unspoken secret. The marriage was rocky at times due to unresolved regret and anger from our hasty decision. After five years we were ready to have children. Our son and daughter are now young adults and at the same age when I was so out of control physically and emotionally. Looking back, I had three abortions in 3 years, all in my early 20'. I was sexually active after not having dated at all in High School. My heart and mind and body knew it was wrong to end my pregnancies. The pain, the needle, the cramping the humility and the look of the other women in the clinic. All wrong. All sad. If I properly used birth control perhaps this story would not be told. But I see that birth control failed me and the real solution is beyond the Pill. It's more natural and safe. It's about respect. I'd give anything not to belong to this club of women. Make this stop. Make abortion stop. please.
What do you think of this story?
Select one of the options below. Your feedback will help tell CNN producers what to do with this iReport. If you'd like, you can explain your choice in the comments below.
Be and editor! Choose an option below: