This iReport is part of an assignment:
Have you had an abortion?
About this iReport
- Posted February 15, 2013 by
- kzearing127 Follow
Location
Columbus, Indiana
Columbus, Indiana
Assignment
 |
More from kzearing127
More iReports you should see
A Mother's Missing Child
At the age of fifteen I found out I was pregnant. I tried hiding it from my parents but that only lasted so long before they found out. My parents only gave me two choices to move out or have an abortion. I was young, scared and naive. I felt the only option I had was to have an abortion. I remember I was 17 weeks along, the furthest along one can be before they won't preform an abortion. I remember going into the abortion clinic filling out paper work, sitting in the waiting room, being called into a small room with 4-5 other women for "counseling" about the "procedure." The women in the ultra-sound room would not let me see the screen of my child. Then putting on a paper hospital gown and waiting with other women. We all sat there waiting for our name to be called. You can feel the tension in the room everyone there for the same reason but nobody talking to each other. After my name was called I don't remember much of the abortion because I was so far along I had to be put to sleep. I next remember waking up in the "recovery" room sitting in a lounge chair with a nurse by my side and other patience in the room recovering. I woke up crying and the nurse asked if I was crying because of the pain. I said no. I was crying because I just killed my child, didn't she understand this? I asked the nurse was my baby a boy or girl and she just walked away. The clinic had me there an hour to recover, wake up, and eat some crackers and juice. My mom pulled around back and I left out a back door. And my parents and myself kept it a secret for 18 years until I had the guts to come out and talk about my story.
Three years ago my 2 day old baby died. She was born at 31 weeks only weighing one pound. Her little body couldn't fight being so little. Part of her dying led me to some self guilt from my abortion. Not only did I lose an infant, I experienced multiple losses. I have had 9 miscarriages between 10-12 weeks, 2 stillbirths at 19 weeks, and 1 infant death. I did a lot of self-blamed over my past abortion. Two months after my daughter's death I went to the pregnancy care center to see if I could help with any moms grieving. Instead, God had other plans for me. One of the women at the center told me if I wanted to volunteer I had to take their Post-Abortion Bible study class. I figured God gave me this story for a reason so he was speaking to me now. I started the study with four other women. I was nervous about being there, was I being judged? But they were there for the same reason. We all had an abortion and we felt hurt, lost, confused, sinful, and had regret.
I now no longer blame myself. I help facilitate post-abortion bible studies. I found out during the study that I have an autoimmune disease to where my body fights off foreign objects- meaning my babies. Today I am grateful for my 2 living children and my 12 other children that are in heaven. There are so many that have had an abortion and have no healing. Abortion is the unspoken word. 1 in 4 women have had an abortion. I am grateful CNN is wanting to find out the long term effects abortion has on women.
Three years ago my 2 day old baby died. She was born at 31 weeks only weighing one pound. Her little body couldn't fight being so little. Part of her dying led me to some self guilt from my abortion. Not only did I lose an infant, I experienced multiple losses. I have had 9 miscarriages between 10-12 weeks, 2 stillbirths at 19 weeks, and 1 infant death. I did a lot of self-blamed over my past abortion. Two months after my daughter's death I went to the pregnancy care center to see if I could help with any moms grieving. Instead, God had other plans for me. One of the women at the center told me if I wanted to volunteer I had to take their Post-Abortion Bible study class. I figured God gave me this story for a reason so he was speaking to me now. I started the study with four other women. I was nervous about being there, was I being judged? But they were there for the same reason. We all had an abortion and we felt hurt, lost, confused, sinful, and had regret.
I now no longer blame myself. I help facilitate post-abortion bible studies. I found out during the study that I have an autoimmune disease to where my body fights off foreign objects- meaning my babies. Today I am grateful for my 2 living children and my 12 other children that are in heaven. There are so many that have had an abortion and have no healing. Abortion is the unspoken word. 1 in 4 women have had an abortion. I am grateful CNN is wanting to find out the long term effects abortion has on women.
- TAGS:
- GROUPS:
What do you think of this story?
Select one of the options below. Your feedback will help tell CNN producers what to do with this iReport. If you'd like, you can explain your choice in the comments below.
Be and editor! Choose an option below:
iReport welcomes a lively discussion, so comments on iReports are not pre-screened before they post. See the iReport community guidelines for details about content that is not welcome on iReport.
© 2013 Cable News Network. 
Comments