- Posted February 15, 2013 by
This iReport is part of an assignment:
Have you had an abortion?
Ohio's HeartBeat Bill Testimony
In our society, we speak about the right to choose, but we don’t speak about what happens when you choose abortion. At this moment can you look at me knowing I had two abortions and not think “OH MY, she killed two of her babies?” This is the Reality and the Truth I live with everyday; what it means to have an abortion.
Why doesn’t a woman have an abortion then talk about it like she had surgery? I know why. Because it is not surgery, it is not healthcare. It is a gruesome attack, resulting in the end of lives. We carry a deadly silence for a reason, a silence and a truth that kills the deepest depths of her soul, my soul. I did not just abort my babies, I killed my babies, and I stopped their heartbeats….. Why? Because I was not told, nor shown the truth. I wanted a way out but I was never told the truth. I too, believed the lies.
I believed that the nightmare of a crisis pregnancy would go away. I believed my friend’s advice that abortion was a solution. I believed the clinician’s claim of abortion as birth control. I believed that since it was legal, it was okay. Nobody was there to tell me the truth.
Truth is, abortion is hurting women, like it has hurt me in the most painful ways. Nobody was there to protect me. The effects of abortion are Deep, far reaching and Never Ending. You see my nightmare did not end when I aborted my child; this is when my Nightmare Began!
I ask how can an abortion be LEGAL? Why aren’t we doing something more to protect our women? May I share into the Window of my Soul and broken heart?
- I have wanted to die and believe I don’t deserve to live as I have taken life. I wish I would have heard a Heartbeat!
-I have felt the pain of a brother yelling in my face that I am going to burn in hell for having an abortion…..He did not realize, that I was already in Hell. I didn’t hear a heartbeat!
-I have felt the fear of losing the man I love as I told him I have had an abortion, but I’m not a bad person….please love me.
-I see children playing and instantly feel the loss and pain wishing I could see my two children grow up and share life with them.
-I have felt the self-hatred as I sat in judgment of a man who molested a little girl and had to realize, "But I killed mine" …..If only I had heard the Heartbeat!
- I walk around in this society “Free”, yet captive to my own prison walls of shame, guilt, despair and ongoing misery.
- Seeing the pain in my 13year old daughter’s eyes as she looked into mine with tears running down her face asking me…Mommy, how do I know you did not want to kill me? And knowing she will not ever meet her brother or sister.
-Every time I see Mothers and sons, I again suffer the loss of that Love I will never share.
-I want to know how many more moments in my lifetime will my Choice inflict Pain….how long will this continue? If only I had heard a heartbeat, I would have Chose to let my baby live.
- Today I suffer knowing my Daughter is now living the same Nightmare, I could not stop it….I now know what it is like to grieve and suffer the loss of my grandchild!
-There is not a second in my life that I have not in one way or another felt the pain from my “CHOICE”, Why did I even have the choice I ask myself?
-To this day I see a baby and I think, “I want mine back” but I can’t have them. That is a mother's undying love speaking out in my heart.
Why wasn’t I protected against making such a terrible decision for my life in the middle of a crisis? Would you hand a suicidal person a loaded gun? Had I Heard the Heartbeats of my babies, which clearly indicates LIFE, I would have STOPPED from making the worst decisions of my life. That LIFE would have become REAL to me. I would not have fallen into the piles of lies and dismissed my babies as a blob of tissue. If I had only heard their HEARTBEATS, THEIR VOICE!
To this day, I pray that every Pro-life billboard, bumper sticker, commercial or News about abortions will STOP someone on their way to the abortion clinic before their nightmare begins. I used to be pro-choice, until I made that choice.
As my life continues so will my loss. My nightmare will never end, but as time passes wounds begin to heal and I have recognized my deserving of forgiveness, but forgiving yourself is the hardest part. Many of my wounds have been healed by God’s Mercy, Grace, Comfort and Love that only He can give and I grow in CHRIST’ strength as He leads me to fight for every child’s beating heart! I support this bill because I want to see Women and children protected. If I would have heard my baby’s heartbeat, I would have been spared this suffering, pain and regret. I would have been protected.
I beg you to let every baby’s heartbeat be heard by their mother as that child’s voice. Pass this bill to end the suffering of all touched by abortion, stop the murder of innocent lives. Listen to their innocent cries for life.
By passing Ohio’s HeartBeat Bill HB125, you will share in the hope of every child saved and the joy of mother’s as they hear their babies’ heart beating. Mostly God’s grace as he redeems this great nation as we repent and turn back from the error of our ways, as I have.
Legalization of abortion....Roe V Wade, is the worst thing that has ever happened in my life, the lives of millions and this country.