- Posted February 15, 2013 by
This iReport is part of an assignment:
Have you had an abortion?
What I had destroyed was not just tissue.
I can still remember the sign that said “Save Your Baby”. I remember crouching down in the seat of the car and telling my husband, “They don’t know why we are here, do they?” For you see I didn’t think I was killing a baby but just getting rid of harmful tissue. It was 1979 and I had been taking an experimental drug for a tumor on my bladder. When I became pregnant, I was excited but my doctor told me I could not have the baby because my life could be in danger and that my baby could be a monster. He said I must have a D & C (dilation and curettage) quickly before the baby’s heart started beating. I was seven weeks pregnant, and a “mother’s health exception” candidate for an abortion, although the doctor never used that word. I was 25 yrs. old, married to Dail, and we had a three-year-old son. I felt pressure to choose between my three year old I could see and the harmful “blob of tissue” that was the unknown.
We were active church members and a Christian family. We called our parents, prayed and decided to take the doctor’s advice. I honestly thought I had to have this “cleaning out” or I would not be around to raise my three yr. old.
My doctor sent me to a Planned Parenthood facility in Little Rock. I wonder now why I was sent there if my pregnancy was at risk. I remember the cold table and the almost empty room. The nurse told me it would be over quickly, wouldn’t hurt, and that I could return to work in a couple of days. She was absolutely wrong! I remember hearing the machine and beginning to wonder, “What is happening to me?” One young girl lined up outside the room asked “Was yours a boy or girl?” I gasped and couldn’t talk about it.
After coming home I tried to walk and began hemorrhaging. More body parts came out as I went to the bathroom! I cried myself to sleep and the depression began. I couldn’t even say the word abortion and I wanted to punish myself. I repressed the event for over 12 years, continually had many pelvic infections, endometriosis, and had to have a hysterectomy at an early age.
The nurse said, “This will be over quickly,” but that has not been true in my experience. I will have regret for the rest of my life and so will my husband.
But my healing began after hearing another woman’s testimony. I finally could admit the truth. What I had destroyed was not just tissue. It was a human life.
So Dail and I went through abortion recovery, named our daughter Jill Allison and gave her a memorial service.
Giving Jill Allison personhood and honor helped us grieve her death and heal.
If you have had an abortion, we want you to know that you are not alone and that there is hope and healing. Abortion Recovery changed our lives!
We direct the National Helpline for Abortion Recovery and we have received thousands of calls from all over the nation and world. We refer to local help and mail packets of resources. Your call is confidential and will be answered 24/7. Millions are hurting, so please call the toll free number 866.482.LIFE or go to www.nationalhelpline.org and find help today. Shame is the ultimate silencer, but the truth will set you free.
Millie & Dail are founders and directors of Concepts of Truth, Inc., a non-profit professional counseling and care pregnancy center since 2001. Millie is the professional counselor and Dail is active in working with program development, pastor relations and business administration. The center also offers support groups, Bible studies for post-abortive men and women and coordinates a National Helpline for Abortion Recovery at 866-482-LIFE. www.nationalhelpline.org The National Helpline number is offered as a resource in several books, magazines, documentaries, and most recently the October Baby movie.
After teaching junior high science for seven years, Millie received her master’s degree in counseling education and was employed as a school counselor for four years. She worked in private practice as a licensed professional counselor before founding Concepts of Truth as a ministry in 1998. Millie is a speaker, singer, songwriter and author who is active in her profession and passionate about her work and her love for Jesus Christ. Dail & Millie’s dramatic testimony reveals the truth about abortion and the shame that silences men and women. They have interviewed on TV and radio and their skills enable them to help churches and others with counseling needs. Their audiences are moved as men and women are coming forward for help and healing as they minister. Please call 870-238-4329 for questions or scheduling information.
Dail & Millie’s abortion story was recently included in the devotional book, Sisterhood of Faith: 365 Life-Changing Stories about Women Who Made a Difference by Howard Books and Real Abortion Stories, edited by Barbara Horak. Also, Millie has conducted workshops at the United Nations, presented at the Watchmen on the Wall Pastor’s Briefing in Washington, D.C. and is also past president of the Arkansas Mental Health Counselor’s Association.
Concepts of Truth, Inc. originated the Pastor’s Guide to Heal Our Nation to help pastors in all denominations understand that women and men are hurting from abortion, have a need to find healing and a need for the church to reach out to them. Visit www.conceptsoftruth.org to view the guide.
Born and raised in Eastern Arkansas, Millie & Dail have been married since 1974, have two living sons and are active in the music ministry at St. Peter’s Catholic Church. Dail and Millie enjoy riding their Gold Wing motorcycle.