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Have you had an abortion?
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No words to describe agony
I had an abortion when I was 20 years old. The reason being that I became pregnant from an abusive ex-boyfriend. I remember sitting in an emergency room receiving treatment for a broken nose, two fractured ribs and a concussion inflicted on me by him. It was then that the ER doctor announced that I was approximately 6-7 weeks pregnant. Horrified and ashamed, I remember thinking that having his child would enslave me to at least 18 years of hell. It was right then and there, on a cold and rainy February evening that I decided that I needed to have an abortion. I didn’t even think about whether it was right or wrong, if I would live with regret, etc. After being released from the hospital, I went home, opened the telephone book, found an abortion clinic, called and set an appointment for the following week. When the time came, I got in the car, drove to the clinic and fearfully waited for my name to be called. I won’t go into specifics about the actual procedure. WHAT I DO REMEMBER is the doctor making crude comments, laughing, and instructing me to come back the next day for the final step of the abortion process. I left there feeling relieved but so dejected. It’s like I was in a daze and felt more like a spectator than a participant. When it was finally over, I didn’t cry, I just didn’t have emotion…….
Until 6 years later when I was 5 months into my second pregnancy. By this time I was married, graduated from college, had a great job and was ready to take on the world. I remember watching the images on the screen when I was having my first sonogram. It was then that it all came back and the emotion hit me like a ton of bricks.
Fast forward to 16 years later. My oldest son is 16 years old, enjoying, experiencing life as all teenagers do. Building friendships, making plans for college, going out with friends and wondering what it’s like to fall in love. I also have three other sons, ages 14, 10 and 9. And not a day goes by that I don’t regret having taken my child’s life. As I watch my children grow, I realize I have stolen my unborn child’s opportunity to experience the same things I cherish: family, friendship, love.
I remember what the doctor who performed the abortion told me: “Don’t worry. I’ve seen many women come through my office. And before you know it, you’ll forget about it. You won’t have this burden to carry.” How wrong he was.
Until 6 years later when I was 5 months into my second pregnancy. By this time I was married, graduated from college, had a great job and was ready to take on the world. I remember watching the images on the screen when I was having my first sonogram. It was then that it all came back and the emotion hit me like a ton of bricks.
Fast forward to 16 years later. My oldest son is 16 years old, enjoying, experiencing life as all teenagers do. Building friendships, making plans for college, going out with friends and wondering what it’s like to fall in love. I also have three other sons, ages 14, 10 and 9. And not a day goes by that I don’t regret having taken my child’s life. As I watch my children grow, I realize I have stolen my unborn child’s opportunity to experience the same things I cherish: family, friendship, love.
I remember what the doctor who performed the abortion told me: “Don’t worry. I’ve seen many women come through my office. And before you know it, you’ll forget about it. You won’t have this burden to carry.” How wrong he was.
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