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    Posted February 15, 2013 by
    Orange County, California
    This iReport is part of an assignment:
    Have you had an abortion?

    Abortion Caused Me Infertility!


    In 1984 I became unexpectedly pregnant---although I consider that an oxymoron because basically, if one is having sex then one should not be surprised if one becomes pregnant. I was on birth control pills but clearly even birth control pills are not 100% and for the life of me I could not remember missing a day. It's possible that I was taking an antibiotic at the time and back then it was not known that antibiotics could cancel out the effects of "the pill"---or at least I did not know. Regardless of the reason the birth control failed for me, I was a 20 year old college student with "dreams" of a modeling career, and now I was pregnant!


    Because I was taking birth control, I did not discover I was pregnant until I was at 10-12 weeks. I did miss a couple of periods, but I had missed periods before due to overdoing it with athletics and exercise so I just assumed that I was experiencing the same thing. However, I described my symptoms to a friend and she was convinced I was pregnant and advised me to get tested and so I did--and I was pregnant.


    At the time, the decision to abort seemed like an easy decision. But really that is not accurate because I did not make an informed intelligent decision. My decision to quickly abort was based on the so called, "counseling" I received from the Planned Parenthood I went to. I was told that I had to make a quick decision because i was probably 12 weeks along. The person at Planned Parenthood who advised me seemed to be very caring and concerned. I remember being told it was just a blob of cells. I remember being freaked out at the the thought of having a "screaming toddler or out of control teenager." It would be years later while writing a speech for a class I was taking, that I logged onto Planned Parenthood's website on their "teenwire" and found those words verbatim. I was stunned! I realized at that moment that it was that counselor I spoke with at Planned Parenthood that planted those awful thoughts in my head. She was not caring or concerned after all but she took a vulnerable panicked young woman and scared me into having a quick abortion. In addition to the scare tactics used to convince me to quickly abort, I also was never told that infertility or any harm to the reproductive system could be a consequence.


    So odd that before the abortion I did not consider it life, or viable, or feel like a mom. I started regretting it immediately after. I was still waking up from the anesthesia when all that care Planned Parenthood displayed to me before the abortion went right out the door. I was told to get up and get dressed and wait in the lobby. I told them I was still drugged and needed to lay down. I was handed my clothes and was told they needed the bed. It was when entering the lobby hardly able to walk due to the drugs when it hit me---and it hit me hard. I gripped my tummy and silently inside my head cried, "I want my baby back!" But abortion is final and there would be no way of getting my baby back.


    A couple of years after the abortion while browsing through a book store (way before the internet) I saw a book on fetal development and opened it up. I dropped to my knees in horror when I saw the photos of a 10 and 12 week fetus. I know people were around me but I couldn't help it. I could hardly breathe. "How could I have been so stupid?" I thought. "How could they have lied to me?" "Why did they tell me it was just a blob of cells?" "Why wasn't I taught human fetal development in school?" Two years after the abortion was two years too late for me to discover basic facts about fetal development. I swear to you, if I had known, if Planned Parenthood would have disclosed to me the facts of what a 10 or 12 week old fetus looks like and that it is a completely developed yet very tiny human, I never would have chosen to abort. If they would have told me infertility was a consequence no matter how small of a consequence, I would have ran out of their offices so fast and have "chosen" to keep my baby. It irritates me so to this day when they call it "the right to choose". It's only a choice if you have full disclosure of facts therefore allowing you to able to make a truly "informed decision". It became obvious to me that abortion is a big business with big dollars to make and I had been duped.

    As life would unfold, I ended up marrying the young man with whom I became pregnant less than a month after the abortion. That's a long story in itself but just to briefly explain, it was a quick wedding because he was from another country and Immigration came calling. We were truly in love but much too young to get married and especially so soon after the emotional trauma of the abortion.


    We both regretted the abortion and tried immediately to become pregnant. But there would be no pregnancy. We went through years of infertility treatments and spent tens of thousands of dollars. My infertility was classified as "unexplained". I can see on Planned Parenthood's website that they still claim infertility is not a consequence. That is a lie! Fact is, they don't care to find out. What studies have they ever conducted to find out? I'd like to know. Who have they surveyed? A few years back I called that Planned Parenthood to inform them that I had an abortion at their clinic and could never get pregnant after. I was transferred to someone's voice mail where I left a message. I never heard back. I called a second time and didn't hear back again. I gave up expecting to hear back. So much for them caring about "women's rights" and their "reproductive rights"---what a joke--they took my reproductive rights away from me.


    So in answer to how did the abortion change my life, well it changed and shaped everything including spending 20 years trying to achieve a pregnancy. There's so much more I would like to say but space and time is limited here. I will conclude by sharing with you that after 22 years, my marriage ended. He now has a son. Oh, my dreams of modeling I had that factored into my decision to seek out Planned Parenthood to consider an abortion (and I emphasis "seek" not "decide")---turned out to be just dreams. Life lesson for me from that was that we need to take the opportunities life presents us. They may not seem like opportunities at the time, but in hindsight, the best career I could have ever had in life would have been that of a "mom".

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