- Posted February 15, 2013 by
This iReport is part of an assignment:
Have you had an abortion?
Touched by God's Grace
The guilt and the shame would come into my dreams. I was guilty of taking away the gift of LIFE of another person.
I tried to fight it within myself. Doctors assured me, you will have another child one day. I tried counseling; nothing seemed to help.
Turn to God? My Choice destroyed my relationship with God.
One year after my abortion, my secret became a death wish. I became suicidal. For the next two years I struggled with relationships, felt I only deserved the worst! I became pregnant again, this time I would rather die than have another abortion. This time I placed my child up for adoption, hoping thru such a great sacrifice I will be free from the pain of my past. Soon after I realized no child replaces a loss of another child. But this time I felt I made a good choice, because I SAW how happy it made a couple. My unplanned pregnancy turned into the greatest blessing for someone eles.
Seven years after the birth of my child, I met my husband. It was easy to share about the adoption, he was so proud that I had the courage to choose LIFE. It took 5 years of marriage before I could tell him about my abortion.
First I discovered Project Rachel. It was the first time I truly felt God’s Forgiveness and give my child I lost thru abortion a name. I was finally given permission to grieve my loss.
Two years later I found Rachel’s Vineyard. After 15 years
I finally forgave myself. Carrying so much pain and punishment, it truly was a miracle to be free.
It has been 30 years since my abortion and today I share my story only by the Grace of God. I want people to know the truth of abortion. It was so much more than just “A Choice” Even thou I am forgiven and free from all my pain – I have not forgotten.