- Posted February 15, 2013 by
This iReport is part of an assignment:
Have you had an abortion?
My Rainbow Covenant - Healing From Abortion
I would like to share my testimony regarding a bad decision that I made when I was 20 years old, which was more than 35 years ago. I started having flu like symptoms, so my mom took me to the emergency room. The diagnosis being that I was pregnant. I was shocked and scared and didn't know what to do. My pregnancy was the result of one sexual encounter, during a night of partying, with a man I just met and I did not know how to get in touch with him. I remember wondering what kind of life my child would have not knowing who his earthly father was and I was afraid of what people would think. I did not seek the Lord regarding my decision and I was not given any positive guidance from the people working at the clinic.
On August 15, 1977, I went to the Hillcrest Clinic in Norfolk, Virginia and killed my son Caleb by having an abortion. I do not remember what it was like being at the abortion clinic or what took place during the procedure. I do remember hearing what sounded like a vacuum cleaner. Later that day, I was having severe cramps, so I went back to the clinic and found out that the abortion had not been completed properly. This is another story about a “botched” abortion that could have been deadly for me.
I believe that God protected me that day and even in later years from nightmares, anxieties and thoughts of suicide that I have heard other women who chose abortion have experienced.
The road to my healing from the abortion began on Sanctity of Life Sunday in 2006. I kept silent for almost 30 years and my road to healing began. It was my Sunday to volunteer in the nursery at my church. God had other plans, because no children were at church that day, so I came to the service and the message that was preached changed my life. I really felt like I was the only person sitting there and that the God was speaking directly to me.
I attended an eight-week bible study Called Forgiven and Set Free by Linda Cochrane, that transformed my life in ways that I never thought were possible. This bible study is a Post Abortive Ministry of the Crisis Pregnancy Center of Tidewater. I realized just how awesome God is and that He is merciful and loving. The women in the bible study had a memorial service at the Cross at Cape Henry in Virginia Beach, Virginia to dedicate our children to God. We all participated in the service in whatever way we chose. The Holy Spirit prompted me to select two songs for us to sing.
The first song is “Healing Rain” by Michael W Smith. When the song started, it started to rain and it continued to rain until the song was over and then it stopped. In my heart, I knew that God had sent the rain and washed away all my guilt, shame and condemnation. That was an awesome moment for me, because I knew that this was a sign from God that He had forgiven me and I no longer had to be ashamed for what I had done. God had forgiven me and set me free from the guilt and shame of aborting my son.
During the second song, we were singing, dancing and praising God, when all of the sudden the bottom fell out and it started to rain again and before we knew it, there was a rainbow in the sky. God had revealed Himself to me in a mighty way and I knew the rainbow was a sign for me. This was confirmation that I was forgiven and that His promises are true. I took a picture of the rainbow with my cell phone and every time I see that rainbow it reminds me just how awesome God is.
The most important thing about abortion that I think women and men need to know is that God is merciful and He forgives all or our sins. Satan comes to kill, steal and destroy, but God wants us to have eternal life and live in freedom. I now have the revelation and knowledge that LIFE begins at the moment of conception. The Bible says “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you”.