- Posted February 15, 2013 by
This iReport is part of an assignment:
Have you had an abortion?
The Homicide of Leonor Bridgette Beltran
My entire being was overcome by terror, and I felt deep anguish in the core of my soul when I ended the life of my own child for the sake of convenience. At the clinic I was treated like livestock being herded from one step to the next. I felt like I had a number on my back and a dollar sign on my face. I was inconsolable the entire time at the clinic and didn’t have the strength to engage in simple conversation with staff.
When the abortionist administered the poison in my stomach I was mortified and shocked because I felt my child kick and turn very hastily. Later I found out she could feel the pain. Since I was 6 months pregnant this would be a two day process. The second day consisted of the abortionist tearing my daughter out of me - limb from limb, piece by piece. But I did not go back. After feeling my daughter fight for her life I went straight to my mother’s home crying for help. She drove me to the Labor and Delivery Department at a local hospital. But there, I was told that the healthy heartbeat I heard over the monitor would soon be destroyed by the poison. The next day after several hours in labor, I delivered an angel named Leonor Bridgette Beltran.
The doctor immediately placed her on my chest. I felt a proud, happy, motherly, glow gleaming from me. My husband was on one side and my mother on the other side. They both huddled next to me in aww because she was just so darn adorable. I gently touched each toe on each foot, each finger on each hand. I gently made swirls on her forehead with my index finger and then dragged my finger across her nose and lips as I told her I was sorry. My husband helped me wrap her like a burrito. He scooped her into his arms and sat in a corner cradling her tightly, slightly rocking her. He brought her up closer to his face still in a cradle position and I could see the tears from his eyes falling onto her face. My parents and other family members were able to cradle her in their arms and we spent the last moments with her….Then a nurse walked in and carried her small, helpless, now cold and lifeless body out of the room. My family and the biological father’s family were left with the daunting task of planning her funeral.
I’ve grief stricken countless people with the “choice” I’ve made. I’ve robbed my seven children of a sister that they could have played with, fed and helped nurture. I have suffered from depression, anxiety, and an eating disorder to name a few. I felt damage, humiliated and hopeless after my abortion. Woman deserve better than abortion. I dedicated the rest of my existence to fight this life and death war. This is why I am…..Silent No More.