- Posted February 16, 2013 by
Las Vegas, Nevada
This iReport is part of an assignment:
I Spoke With An Angel
In the winter of 1985, during a particularly harsh winter’s night, snowing and well below zero, I picked up a hitch hiker and that meeting saved me and changed my life forever. That night, I spoke with an Angel, sent by God to save me. I had always had a relationship with God and a connection to Christ in my heart. I was 20 years old at the time and perhaps beginning to question all of my beliefs as I entered into manhood. I became involved with a religious “practice” (not scientology) that was not Christian and in the beginning, I was told by others in this “practice” that it was perfectly fine for me to participate as a Christian. One of the key things about this practice is that as you do it, you receive benefits; it could be in your health, finances, career, etc. The leadership stressed the point that, “whatever you put in to your practice, you get out of it“, what you put in you take out. As you did the practice, you were told to think about things you wanted, the job, a car, a relationshop, whatever it was. They even had you make a list, to keep there with you as you performed this practice. For me, I had a junky Ford Pinto at the time that I was not appreciating what-so-ever and so part of my desire was for a new car to replace this total piece of junk.
As I went along participating in this practice, spiritually, I felt that there was somehow a conflict between it and my faith in Christ, I shrugged those feelings off. I was receiving benefits and beginning to speak at the weekly chapter meetings. I felt powerful as I came into my own as a speaker eventually being asked to speak at the main temple on the topic of recruitment. I had become a prolific recruiter and the top leaders were starting to notice. I was eventually approached by one of the top leaders who told me he wanted to take me under his wing. This was all very exciting to me, I enjoyed being part of something and I liked the attention of the leaders.
One night, I received a knock on my door, it was 4 of the very top leaders including the head of the national organization; they wanted to speak to me to discuss giving me my own chapter. We all sat in the living room and I was told bluntly that it was time to take things to the next level in my “practice” and in order for me to become the leader they had been grooming me to become I was going to need to do a couple of things first. Then, this person came right out and said it to me, “you are going to have to renounce your belief in Christ“. I couldn’t believe he just came right out and told me that. I told him that I had been told in the beginning that it was okay for me to be a Christian and practice. He said to me that they tell that to everyone in the beginning because eventually as they do the practice they realize there is no need to believe in God or Christ. They went on to attempt to justify their case to me to make me feel as though it was the right decision. My head was spinning at that point… I was totally confused! I told them I had to think and I ushered them out.
That night, I agonized, was God real or was this belief in Him just some sort of crutch that had no basis in reality; some archaic belief that had no place in modern society? I attempted to rationalize this with my human brain and because I really wanted to be a part of the group and also because I thought, what if they are right and I’m wrong, I made a very conscious and concise decision and actually spoke the words, “there is no God” there is only the practice. It felt weird, it still did not feel right, but I thought I would get used to my new belief system as time went on. However, in the following days, my life spiraled downward. I was empty, confused. My girlfriend had dumped me, all of a sudden my life was a wreck. It was sometime in January of 1985, my friends invited me to a party a their home across town. Even though it was freezing cold, the roads were covered in black ice and it was snowing, I jumped into my junky Ford Pinto and set out. As I drove down the road, I was not thinking of the party, I could not stop wrestling, “is God real, isn’t God real” what to do. I was miserable, I never felt so empty, confused and without direction. This was turning into the struggle of my life! I looked up just then and saw a person walking in this extreme weather, he stuck out his thumb. My first thought was to blow him off, even though it was cold out there, I had it drilled into my head, never pick up hitch hikers. My foot slammed down on the brake as if it were not I who was in control. I was literally compelled to pick this person up! He opened the door of the Pinto, I could see ice in his long beard. He had a huge smile on his face, the first thing that he did when he entered the car was to really look over the interior and he turned to me and said, “What a blessing! Isn’t it amazing what God provides for us? This car is awesome, wow this is really beautiful!” He was going on and on about my piece of junk that I had been practicing about getting rid of to get something nice and new. Now here was someone who had no car and as I looked at it, the interior was actually very comfortable and the heater was working!
I could feel my heart breaking as I realized that everything he said was true; this car was a blessing and I totally was not appreciating what I had been given. But that was only the beginning… this person new me already and not because we had met before. He went on to tell me all about myself in detail, he told me he knew what I had been going through and that I had seen enough of what I was supposed to see and that now it was time to drop the “practice” and come back. I was in shock, I could feel the eerie chill of being in the presence of the supernatural. And yet as we talked I became really comfortable with this person. He needed me to drop him off at a church meeting he was going to, when we got to the parking lot, we chatted for a time. He told me that unlike this practice, everything that I put into Christ I would receive back a thousand times and a thousand times that! He told me to drop the practice and I would receive all that I could ever want or need. After that, we chatted some more, I was feeling really warm and good while he was in the car with me. Just as he opened the door to leave, he turned to me and asked, “do you believe in Angels?” “Sure” I answered. Then he said, ” because they are everywhere and sometimes they are just regular people like you and me”. And with that he was out of the car. I fully knew that this was a divine visitation, there could be no doubt. He knew who I was and told me all about myself. Still, I was not out of the woods, I was still struggling. I went to the party, didn’t stay very long and went home to spend probably the worst night of my life. I literally felt as if I were in a black, very empty hole, not quite hell, but the most miserable sadness and darkness I’d ever known. By morning, I had become suicidal. I couldn’t take it anymore, like a gaping empty hole in my heart, I just wanted it to stop. I went driving and ended up in the parking lot of a strip mall. I knew that I had spoken with an Angel, yet I was not healed. Normally, I would never, ever consider killing myself and yet, here I was not only ready, but willing as well.
Then, a thought popped into my head; I had remembered something I had read long ago in a Hal Lindsay book, he said something like, if you want Christ in your life to save you, just ask him, “Jesus fill my heart“! Just the thought made me feel better. I looked up to the heavens and with all my heart, I said aloud, “Jesus fill my heart!” Whoosh!!! Pow! I was shown the Light of Heaven! I was no longer empty, I was whole again. Such a feeling of Light, Love, Acceptance, Security and Peace (and relief), there are no words to describe the feeling. I spoke to an Angel, saw a glimpse of hell and an amazing glimpse of Heaven and, I KNOW it is real!