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    Posted February 16, 2013 by
    This iReport is part of an assignment:
    Have you had an abortion?

    Soul-deep ache

    There's really nothing remarkable about my story. I was 18 and "in love". I'd been one of those unlucky girls who believed that dating in high school somehow equated to being worthy. When I finally got a boyfriend, I wound up pregnant within a month. pretty pathetic, right? Since I was certain he'd break up with me if I didn't "get rid of it", I told him not to worry. I went to a clinic 100 miles from home but was turned away because I am diabetic and revealed that to them. To this day I wonder why I didn't just take that as enough reason to do the brave thing and give my child life. I came back home and found an abortionist in a town 8 miles from my home. I don't remember the guy's face. All I do remember is the whiteness of the office, a nurse who - I think - had somewhat of a sad look on her face, and awful cramping. I think I paid $400.

    My boyfriend and I stayed together for 2 years. I was certain I'd made the right choice. Then I went away to college and the sex ended. of course, he broke up with me shortly after. I began drinking. then I became a promiscuous drunk. Then I attempted suicide in a very sick, passive way - I stopped taking my insulin. It never occurred to me that I'd purchased my pain for that $400.

    Eventually (within 3 years), the truth surfaced. First, I came face to face with Christ. That began a long, slow process of stepping up out of the pit. I met a man, married and had two wonderful children I didn't deserve. My husband knew about my abortion. My children - now 18 and nearly 20 - only recently found out. I never told my mother and don't imagine I ever will. I ache for my child. I know I'm forgiven and I know I will see him in Heaven one day. There is nothing I regret more than my abortion. Those who haven't made that life-changing choice can never understand the damage it does to a woman at a soul-deep level.

    My story isn't remarkable. Thousands of other women regret their abortions. Their lives follow the same trajectory as mine, with only minor difference in the details. Our nation is and has been in a 40-year trance brought on by the soul-less abortion industry. I will use my experiences and my voice to inform my world that abortion kills in every sense of the word. I only hope that the producers at CNN will have the integrity to publish these non-remarkable stories to awaken our nation to the realities they've read.
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