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  • Not vetted for CNN

  • Click to view rcshay200's profile
    Posted February 18, 2013 by
    rcshay200
    Location
    Arkansas, Arkansas
    Assignment
    Assignment
    This iReport is part of an assignment:
    Faith-shaking moments

    More from rcshay200

    Profound Spiritual Turnabout

     

          Throughout the whole bible people were inflicted with severe mental issues.In one degree or another.Having suffered schizzophrenia.and reading the stories of these possessed men that went madd.I am convinced that the only difference between insanity in biblical days and now is awareness on a medical level,in the bible days people were not aloud to harm these people for fear that God was working something out within them....You see how it went from a spiritual battle for ones soul to a mental disorder.I will always look at my experience as a spiritual battle and God won.Athiest like to believe that Christians and other religions were started out of fear,I believe the opposite.The fear always existed God came to Earth In the form of man to cast out that fear and win that spiritual battle for our souls.

         Like Nebachaneezer,I lost my train of thought .I didnt think streight for years.During 10 year to 13 year period.Also like the great king There came a point where my reasoning became clearer,and also like the great king I learned never to doubt the existence of God again.Like the man that harbored legions of demons,so also was my mental torment, I want to explain the unbelievable episodes I suffered through these years.It was one of the most intense fearful internal battles I ever fought. The dillusions and paranoia can not be expressed in words that can easily be explained,but if you were ever in a spiritual war and was headed streight to hell and was saved by the skin of your teeth ,you may feel me.

           God put an obsession in my everything to study his Word hungered and studied diligently sometimes attending bible studies to see if im understanding things correctly.One day a preacher came on and went in depth in the book of Revelations and as he spoke I realized ,God has taught me exactly what that preacher was saying word after word...I thanked God for the gift of Discernment of His Word.And to me ,I firmly believe He would not have trusted me with this gift if He was not with me.That is my defining moment.Friends, ministers,elders and strangers have thanked me for inspiring them to learn more about the Bible.It is a great blessing.When somone tells me they learned Gods word through me,and thank Him for making me that vehicle.

         I was watching a science show and the first fish that they were saying walked out of the waterwas a fish that was at the bottom of the food chain and was agressively hunted.....It only makes sense that the fear of dieing all the time changed thier molecular structure and there you have it fear I believe has always had that power.The point im trying to make is that fear is what schizophrenics live with exeryday some cases worser than others....And the fears that go through our minds exceeds anything that can easily be exlpained.Ive seen peopl slip in and out of episodes .I have met others who never come out of there episodes.I have been one who slipped in and out for 11 12 yearsbefore finding meds to subdue the major symptoms and want to share this disease with all who will listen ....I pray God leads me to collegesnt institutions so I can advise students and employees the reality of what we think and the extremes and the dillusions and paranoia.....All these I have experienced in the worst forms and want to educate the public so people with mental illnesses can be better understood so we can be better evaluated and better taken care of.We our being opressed in so many ways that through education and understanding can be fixed.What better people to help then those of us who live through it and can serve in this area....I am a success story and there are many more that should be put in positions such as this....It makes sense...I am available anytime,

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