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  • Click to view nancylpina's profile
    Posted February 19, 2013 by
    nancylpina
    Location
    houston, Texas
    Assignment
    Assignment
    This iReport is part of an assignment:
    The written word: Your personal essays

    More from nancylpina

    How Facebook Is Hurting Your Relationship

     
    You’ve had a long day and need some unwind time. What is the first activity you are drawn to? Apparently, more often than not, it’s living vicariously through one’s Facebook friends, to the dismay of your significant other. It is not that Facebook itself is a harmful way of interacting with others; it is the addictive behavior that hooks people into losing big chunks of time gazing at the lives of others that becomes very detrimental in love. As a recent study sited, it is a cycle which probably starts casually then balloons into a habit that leads to sleep deprivation, and ultimately to a lack of emotional and physical intimacy.

    This research is a reminder and a wake up call to the importance of keeping relationship priorities in the forefront. No person is immune to potential idols in this world. They can come in all types of packages, such as habitual late night Facebook gazing.

    The best prevention to keep benign interests from becoming a potential hazard in love is to take proactive steps toward thinking purposeful thoughts about your life and relationship goals. Being in a stage of daydreaming and mindless activity night after night will lead you away from the strong, close connection you want to maintain in your relationship.

    So what does a so-called harmless pastime such as Facebook browsing have to do with the direction of one’s life? It is a symptom of a larger issue of non-directional living. If this is a daily habit, it is a means of emotional escape. It is not an activity that will produce an increase in value in your life.

    What you do with your time does have consequences ... nothing is frivolous and will lead to corresponding habits and actions. Your thoughts are the controller of your life. They are not stagnant and move you in the direction you meditate on.

    A nightly dose of the life of acquaintances is a passive way to disconnect with your immediate intimate relationships. That extra time would be better spend deepening those connections which would lead to a more enriching and fulfilling life. What you do with your time does matter and will lead to particular consequences.

    The flow of your life choices works like this:

    Thoughts lead to actions
    Actions lead to the formation of habits
    Habits shape character
    Character determines your destiny.

    Being goal oriented in your personal life is just as important as your career aspirations. When you make the decision to sit in front of your computer, clicking on one “friend” after another, checking out random postings, ask yourself, will the time I spend on reading this information take me where I want to go in life and love?

    When you know where you have been in love, how you got there and where you want to go now, you can achieve the dreams and desires of your heart. Right love is an attainable goal with planning, starting with embracing thoughts which line up with where you want to go. Regular nightly Facebook surfing does not lead to an abundant life, rich in emotional connectedness to those you love.

    Nancy Pina is a highly recognized author, relationship coach and speaker. She is dedicated to helping individuals attract emotionally healthy relationships through her practical, Christian-based advice. Visit www.rightrelationshipstv.com for articles, exercises, coaching options and recent books.

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