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The written word: Your personal essays |
My story
Oh Lord...where do I begin?
And today of all days...what am I thinking?
I've never been completely comfortable telling my story.
I always felt, if I wrote the whole thing down, no one would believe it. Even friends and folks here...don't know it all.
But today being March 1, and the significance of the date, had me here typing away.
So where do I begin?
Many years ago I met Jody (pictured above).
And as some relationships start, we didn't get along lol.
We fought and fought and fought over everything. Just couldn't for the life of us, seem to agree on anything.
He thought I was a prissy, arrogant and overly out-spoken woman.
I thought he was a nasty, mean and conniving man. Ready to use anyone for his own benefit.
So yep...we didn't get along. lol
I did have one small problem at that time, I had a stalker. Who thought I was an "angel", I mean a real winged heavenly creature.
This man felt it was his duty to send me back to heaven because I was supposedly being corrupted here on the earth. :P
Yeah, I know how that sounds, but it is...what it is.
This man at one point shot at me from across Lake Taneycomo. The person who happened to have been there at the time was Jody.
Now you have to understand, I'm a bit of a smart aleck.
When I was being shot at, and noticing what a horribly bad shot the man shooting was, I decided to act the fool and pretend I was one of those electronic animals at the fair that you try to shoot down. (I never said I was smart lol)
Jody just about had a heart attack and forced me into the building.
That in essence is where everything changed.
Although Jody had been dating the same chick for years, he now became a bit over protective towards me. Which looking back I can understand.
I wasn't all together...all together. ;)
Our closeness took a rather negative effect on his relationship with another. She wasn't to fond of sharing him, even though at the time he was basically an over-protective big brother (standing 6'8").
Aside from all that, the girl and I looked a lot alike.
Both of us we're redheads, musicians from one of the Branson shows, and had very similar personalities. I think that may have confused Jody.
Still she couldn't take it and she ended their relationship.
This is where "we" began.
We certainly had our problems.
Jody seemed to be incapable of being with just one woman. So you can guess how it was for me.
I had no doubt he loved me, but I just couldn't remain in a relationship like that.
So I left. And I mean LEFT!!!
Packed up everything in the middle of night, and moved to a different state.
Because of what Jody did for a living at the time, he did end up finding me, and showed up at my door.
We figured we try it again.
I should have known better, but hey...I loved the idiot. lol
Obviously it didn't work.
He would ask me to marry him, but I would always say no.
What was the point of being married, to just have to divorce him in a few months?
So once again, I left.
I knew that I would never go back. The thought of never seeing him again was brutal, yet necessary. But this time, a moment of weakness, would change my life for ever.
We had one night together. That's all I'll say about that.
Then I left...for good!
Well didn't take to long to realize, guess what? I was pregnant.
When I finally called Jody to tell him about the baby, he decided he was done asking me to marry him, he was going to make me marry him. lol. Trying to "make" me do anything is a bad thing. But still, he changed. I mean he really did change.
It was odd.
Now, by the 3rd month of my pregnancy, I knew something was wrong. I couldn't walk. By the fourth month, I couldn't even move my legs. It was terrifying.
The doctor believed it was just a pinched nerve, it wasn't.
After I gave birth, and I still couldn't walk, the tests began.
Several MRI's, x-rays, blood work, motor sensory tests, conduction tests, and a spinal tap revealed I had Avascualr Necrosis.
Basically blood flow had been cut off to both legs. This caused serious damage to the bones, especially the hip bones. And severe nerve damage in both legs.
That ended my career.
If you can't stand, you can't do shows, let alone any dancing.
But life goes on.
So now we began to plan for the wedding. I really wanted to be able to walk down the isle, so we put it off while I was going through PT. Finally...I could walk enough to have our wedding.
But life had a different "walk" for us to take.
Jody was diagnosed with cancer. Started in his parotid gland and metastasized to his bone. We figured he was young, in shape, and would be fine in the long run. We once again postponed the wedding until he was better.
So began the fight for his life.
The cancer was to far spread for direct radiation, so he went directly into chemotherapy.
I on the other hand, had to find a way to pay our bills, so even though I couldn't walk well, I went back to work.
We had a small miracle here.
I met an elderly gentleman in the hallway of hospital. I was being wheeled down for another MRI, he was having a pace-maker put in.
We started to talk.
He offered to have myself and family come down to Gatlinburg Tennessee and work for him. He even had a chair made for me so I could sit, yet look like I was standing. So I took up his offer and we moved to Gatlinburg.
For a year Jody fought, but the cancer wouldn't let go.
On Feb 1, 2007, the doctor said there was nothing else he could do. So we took Jody home to his parents house in Arkansas. Back to his childhood bedroom.
It was in this bedroom, on Feb 16, 2007, that we finally got married.
Two weeks later, on March 1, 2007, Jody died.
My only advice I have for anyone out there who reads this is:
Please don't put off for tomorrow what should be done today.
You may not have a tomorrow...
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