- Posted March 8, 2013 by
This iReport is part of an assignment:
'The Bully Effect': Making it stop
Policies are Nothing but Paper, If Not Enforced
This raw fact spills out through tears in an emotional conversation that comes out of no where just two days ago. Only now I realize it's not really out of no where, is it? My son has been dealing with bullying at school now for quite some time. The confidence and defenses we attempted to arm him with have been chipped away and in his 11 year old words " i don't have any more walls left mom".
So my son, a once care free and confident kid is now thinking of hurting himself. Not really in the way an adult would, but in the way an 11 year old would. "May be if I just break my leg, I won't have to go to school" If I just get in some kind of accident I won't have to go to school!!
How can this be happening? I never thought....... Oh, great, now I'm that person! See how easy it is? It does happen. Fast. So sit up and pay attention.
Have I taken action with the proper channels at his school prior to this? Yes. Has my kid asked for help at school prior to this? Yes. Have some things been done to help? To some extent, yes. Did it all take way to long? Yes. Has enough been done by the school to help? Well, all things considered, NO.
Considering that the bully is the kid of a school district employee this "situation" was considered "delicate" and not handled the way it should have been. So now, here we are, the bombshell has dropped and of course now the school is reacting. Guess we will see what happens.
My son is opening up now about his feelings and we are looking for a counselor. We are lucky it was not too late. Lucky he didn't plan and attempt an "accident" that could have accidentally been so much more serious than a broken bone and missed days of school. I hope we can help him heal, I hope we can help him rebuild.
Whatever sterotype you have in your mind of a child that may be prone to bullying you can throw it out. It is no longer only the small, or the "nerd" or the awkward. It can be any one. As can the bully.
Bullying does not just mean physical abuse or intimidation. Words can do equal damage when thrown over and over, day after day.
Whatever policy your childrens school may tout they have to protect your kids from bullying. Policies are nothing but paper if not enforced, equally enforced for all students no matter who they are.
Talk to your kids, you may have to be insistent if you feel there is trouble. Push and keep pushing the school until you get action. Be prepared to take your complaints beyond the school level if needed. Let your child know you are fighting for them. It will give them hope to keep going.
Never be ashamed or afraid to seek professional help for your child. Sometimes we can't do it all alone and it is ok to teach them that.
Find other ways to empower your child. Away from school and the kids that are bullying. Scouts, sports, martial arts, volunteering. Helping others is always a good way to take the focus off negative feelings and help us feel good inside.