- Posted March 12, 2013 by
Vancouver, British Columbia
This iReport is part of an assignment:
Same-sex marriage hearings: Your thoughts
Life isn't always what it seems. I realize that, now. My life seemed to be clear and straight forward. Well the lie that was my life seemed to be clear and straight forward.
Homosexuality, an abomination? This is just a phase; I like girls, I know it. I can do it if I try hard enough, I know I can.
I can't. I give up. It's no use, Journal. If I can't even love my best friend, it won't happen.
What will people think? What will my friends think? What will my ex-girlfriend think? What will my family think?
It's inevitable. Should I prolong it? - I think so. Just in case. I need to be certain. I'm scared, horrified actually. I can't show my face at church anymore, I'm a disgrace.
Love is what you find when you're not looking. It's hiding behind the sofa in the worst hiding spot ever, like a little kid playing hide-and-go-seek for the first time. It giggles in the corner so you hear it before you see it. But when you actually find it, it's louder than you ever imagined. It takes your breath away without even trying and makes your heart skip a beat, possibly from the fear that seems to come along for the ride.
I found love, Journal. I fell in love with the most amazing man in this world, AND probably the universe, though I've never met an alien. I am finally happy because I am with the man of my dreams, and the best thing about it is - I am proud to be the man I am today. I wouldn't change who I am even if I could. This love that I found, this incredibly amazing man showed me what it was like to be comfortable in my own skin and relish in it. He gave me the strength to be myself and to come out and tell people.
Journal, you wouldn't believe what kind of support that was given to me. Even Christian friends from church displayed love and support that I was not expecting at all. I received many messages and comments and nearly 300 likes on my post itself. December 25, 2012 will be a day I never forget - the greatest Christmas present in the world.
I'm no longer hiding. It feels amazing to be who I have always wanted to be deep down inside. I am so grateful for life that I have been given and the love that I have found and I always will be. God has truly blessed me with an amazing life and I want to share that life with the world. I'm stepping out and telling my story, hoping there is someone out there to listen.