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Work and family: Making it work
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By the skin of our teeth
My husband and I both work full time and equally share the roles of conducting our trio of delightful children through our daily waltz. Though our three young children have never sat through mommy and me poetry, baby yoga or Cantonese lessons, they are true examples of the next renaissance movement. I used to be ashamed of the number of before and aftercare providers I employed. I used to cringe every time my two year old asked who would be taking care of her that day. I have recently decided to adopt a new attitude and look to them for guidance. They are brave and resilient and go with the flow. You will not find a high maintenance child at my address. Food? Check. Semi-dry clothes? Check. A brother or sister to play with or annoy? They are happy.
In terms of the daily grind, my husband and I act (or react?) based on need and necessity. I organize everyone's "piles" the night before (backpacks, outfits, diaper bags, lunches) as he leaves for work early. I do breakfast and the morning dance (Please eat your oatmeal! Where are your shoes? Please don’t lick your sister, we are not puppies! And of course, don’t forget your violin!) and drop the kiddies off at their respective destinations before I head to the office. He picks up from aftercare, gives them a snack, cleans up, starts the laundry and gets dinner going. We share homework and bath time. Weekends are a medley of doctors and dentist appointments, bill paying and birthday parties (all under my direction). The floor washing, laundry sorting, grocery shopping, house cleaning, yard work and general house maintenance fall under his domain. With the traditional male/female roles out the window, this has been the norm for us for 11 years. Try as we may, it is hardly ever perfect and usually, lateness, chaos and the dreadful feeling that we are spinning out of control is the prevailing notion. As a young married couple, our lofty dreams and aspirations (travel, careers, forging the moral highroad) have given way to the same silent prayers that every parent repeats like a mantra: please let our children be happy, healthy and stay out of jail. I hope to get to a platform of embracing our strengths and supporting each other's "person". I’d love to feel like we are really "living" and not just getting through the day by the skin of our teeth. Then again, maybe this is real. Maybe the crazy, working for the weekend rush of our daily lives is the bridge of our love song. Hopefully the coda includes a sense of accomplishment and serenity in three quarter time.
#cnnireport #leaningin
In terms of the daily grind, my husband and I act (or react?) based on need and necessity. I organize everyone's "piles" the night before (backpacks, outfits, diaper bags, lunches) as he leaves for work early. I do breakfast and the morning dance (Please eat your oatmeal! Where are your shoes? Please don’t lick your sister, we are not puppies! And of course, don’t forget your violin!) and drop the kiddies off at their respective destinations before I head to the office. He picks up from aftercare, gives them a snack, cleans up, starts the laundry and gets dinner going. We share homework and bath time. Weekends are a medley of doctors and dentist appointments, bill paying and birthday parties (all under my direction). The floor washing, laundry sorting, grocery shopping, house cleaning, yard work and general house maintenance fall under his domain. With the traditional male/female roles out the window, this has been the norm for us for 11 years. Try as we may, it is hardly ever perfect and usually, lateness, chaos and the dreadful feeling that we are spinning out of control is the prevailing notion. As a young married couple, our lofty dreams and aspirations (travel, careers, forging the moral highroad) have given way to the same silent prayers that every parent repeats like a mantra: please let our children be happy, healthy and stay out of jail. I hope to get to a platform of embracing our strengths and supporting each other's "person". I’d love to feel like we are really "living" and not just getting through the day by the skin of our teeth. Then again, maybe this is real. Maybe the crazy, working for the weekend rush of our daily lives is the bridge of our love song. Hopefully the coda includes a sense of accomplishment and serenity in three quarter time.
#cnnireport #leaningin
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